sex

To everyone whom I have spent a night with

/ andyveilleux / 2 Comments

Love does not happen in a
Set space or time,
Sometimes it happens in one
Small
Seemingly for fun alone
Moment
And sometimes it spans years or decades.

It holds me alike either way
And I find myself reflecting on
Everyone with whom I have spent an evening
More commonly these days
And much more fondly.

There was love
Even within other love
And maybe there always will be.

Surely, there always will be.

We watched Harper reelected,
Consummated years of built-up lust,
Snuck away to your jeep,
Frequently tents or spent time laughing in a tent shared with a friend,
Spent time as three in a shower for two ,
Exchanged pictures or videos,
There was no limit to the fun.

The fun ends they all say,
But maybe they never experienced the fun that I had,
Or they didn’t understand that this fun
Could be built and sustained by two and two alone,
Granted you had the right two.

Australia,
Newfoundland,
Quebec,
British Columbia,
Taiwan,
And of course Sudbury,
Thank you everyone and everywhere.

Life is much less painful and gruesome
When a bed is filled with two or three
than when it is one,
And there have been tens of twos.

Love’s clearance rack

/ andyveilleux / 4 Comments

Some people have been cast aside,
hanging on the clearance rack of love,
For far too long.

You pick them up,
Try them on,
And say you can’t believe the price,
But you wonder why they were there to begin with.

Some people are too picky,
And their price is just too high,
While some people chafe your nipples
Or irritate your skin if worn too long
But some are just unlucky.

Some are just not fashionable,
Or out-of-season,
Too warm of a sweater in a post-dating climate
Where attachment is gone and summer styles
Are all the rage.

Everyone wants to let their skin breathe,
Except a chosen few,
And mist are just serial shopaholics
Always looking for a new style.

We invent ourselves through new lovers
Just like we buy new fashions
But an asshole is still an asshole
Even if they dress like Mother Theresa.

Its not the accessory on your arm that makes you,
Its what comes out of your mouth
And what you allow inside you or find yourself in.

love and luke-warm desperation

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Desperation,

luke-warm, gnawing, a silk rope around your neck,

tugs at you for maniac moments,

pressing your inhibitions and

inability to connect

and find love or meaning.

 

Maybe it can't be found,

and the quiet desperation seeps in through

all the damp things we touch

no

matter

how much love warps us

or the lack of love creates necrosis.

 

Crawling in and out of bed,

drinking and touching and drinking,

and nobody finding what they are looking for.

 

The answer always loses to the question

when the asker is broken

weary

and too well-travelled.

 

It's a lie.

screaming at you

/ andyveilleux / 1 Comment

I am SCREAMING,

did you feel that?

Well, 

I didn't scream, but I felt like screaming.

At this, at you, at the screen, come a little closer, please?

 

Deficit-running, your job, or mine,

but throw around pay raises for the rich,

you cliché pseudo-intellectual.

Yes we know about that,

everybody does.

 

Bang you way into the system if you want to change it,

classic revolution is meant for non-complacent, non-fat., non-first-world places,

bang your way up with your mouth, face, fists, vagina or dick,

make it where your mom and dad never did,

and take home the five figure pay raise to make them so proud

time is money but not really

because it isnt

it seriously isnt.

 

You are dying,

I am dying,

the money is seperate

and good luck with that crisis when it hits your 'furrows of worry' and bank accounts.

The wait/weight

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There is a pressure to explore,

to learn, become, and make progress,

but also to dive into it,

and get inside.

 

Time is a fence,

set to keep the wolves away from

the precious sheep,

lovely, exquiste,

so tasty,

and wolves just want to get inside,

sink their teeth, tongue, fingers in,

and feast.

 

The blood frenzy comes at the first drop

that hits the naked tongue

and sets nature into fluid motion.

 

The wolf can not restrain,

and nor should it,

survival is for the fit,

and there are none fitter than

the patient, cunning wolf.

the sex

/ andyveilleux / 1 Comment

The reported sex was never as good

or even as bad

as it was in the real world.

The sex could be broken,

never happen,

or earth-shattering,

but none of that conveys itself

easily into words poems videos pictures images graphics sentences paragraphs papers essays spoke words or anything really,

there was nothing,

nothing that could justify it.

Often it came across neutral.

An act, a thing, an object.

Sex is more of an emotion,

and it isnt performance-based always,

that's no game sheet,

sometimes bad sex is still good,

and good sex is bad and vacant, void, emotionless, 

EMPTY,

that's the chaos of sex.

Sometimes sex drives all thoughts,

pushes all things,

is all thigs to everybody,

wants to be begged for and wants someone on their knees

gasping for SOMETHING to break the monotony;

life.

A lost relation-friend-ship, from long ago

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There was sex, sleep, conversation, and art. There was no love. We did not even love one another improperly.

The art was tired, and made in the spirit of fun. Art is only art when it is expressing an emotion. We expressed our humourous side, with a slice of our inner happiness.Happiness took its foot of the gas occasionally, and the remnants of past glittered with pain in the pupils of our eyes.

The sex was never tired, even when we were. The conversation never struggled, but never went much below the surface. Sleep didn't matter.

We existed this way for months, in between relationships, ex-lovers, and competing friendships. One day it broke, and we may have spoken a total of three sentences each since.

Even broken friendships are worth remembering. Some things that glitter lose their appeal too soon.There is an abyss of lost friendship, and conversations that should have happened. 

Sometimes we dance on the edge of both love and friendship. Sometimes we are too broken to dance.

sex, sex, and SEX

/ andyveilleux / 4 Comments

Well, now that you're all here because of the keyword "sex" (half-joking…), I'd like to open a serious dialogue about the topic.

First, I believe that we live in a society where sex is rarely spoken about, and is treated as though it's something to hide. If a person speaks about it too frankly, or too often, they are classified as either a pervert or a slut, and sometimes both. That being said, I still talk about it openly, honestly, and relatively often (labels/stereotypes be damned!).

The response I get when I discuss it is usually something sexist. "Typical," most people say, "a guy wanting to talk about sex." HELLO!? Women have sexual needs too, and some of them are not afraid to discuss it openly and honestly, if they trust you. There's some mystifying sexist belief that men talk about sex, because they're the perverted gender. I've had far more discussions about sex with females, and not just because I had a sexual interest in the person I was conversing with (because I know everyone was thinking that was the reason).

As a male in his twenties, I become pigeon-holed the moment I bring up sex oftentimes. As soon as I mention the subject I get the above-mentioned 'typical' response. It's frustrating for a number of reasons. First, I legitimately enjoy discussing sex. It's a fascinating subject, and explains a lot about the person you're talking with. Second, despite the conventionally-held belief, as a male, I don't want to sleep with every girl I try to chat up. Third, sex SHOULD be discussed in great detail, it's one of the most important parts of life (if not the most important, depending if you talk to heavy supporters of evolution and general supporters of humanity's on-going existence :P). 

To be honest, I've been incredibly surprised by a lot of my conversations regarding sex. Some people have zero (or almost zero) experience with sex, well into their twenties. Despite the obvious assumption, some of these individuals are not overly-religious, and are actually attractive. On the flip-side, some of my friends have a vast amount of sexual experience (yes, even some of the ladies too, who aren't "sluts.")

It's always interesting to have perspective into the sex-life of friends. Humans are naturally social creatures, and therefore love discussing things we can relate to. EVERYBODY can relate to sexuality, even if they haven't had sex before. It's rare to find an interesting topic, which everybody can discuss. Interesting + relative + passionate = great conversation. And if there are three things I know about sex; it's that these words describe it well, at least most of the time. ; )

What are your thoughts about sexuality? Are people open enough about it? Do you find people who discuss it honestly and openly? Are you open and honest when discussing it with others? How strong are the stereotypes regarding sex?

late nights, cyclical sins

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

Late nights,

dirty thoughts;

cyclical sins.

 

a wheel of pain and pleasure,

crushing boredom and leaving,

aggressive sexual tendencies,

void of any inhibitions without,

the help of vodka on the rocks,

a lighthouse; lonely, desperate souls,

collide and wrap inside of each other.

Being hot: friend or foe at work?

/ andyveilleux / 4 Comments

 

Being attractive is usually seen as a positive thing in our material world. Most discussions involving hot employees and their jobs used to suggest the same. While I wouldn't suggest the prevailing trend has reversed, many have suggested the opposite may be true in some cases. Everyone recalls the Citibank employee who was 'fired for being too sexy.' I refuse to get into a lengthy conversation about it, as we definitely don't have all the facts, but it is an interesting case you should become familiar with.

Elizabeth Bromstein recently wrote a great blog on Workopolis about whether or not being hot could prevent you from being hired. The blog also discusses the idea of competition among same-sex employees, as well as a myriad of other interesting sexual statistics.

The most interesting profession in regards to sexuality has got to be that of a teacher/professor. EVERYBODY has had a teacher-figure that they were attracted to at some point in their education I'm sure. They were, or maybe are, often the topic of idle, or not so idle, chatter amongst your peers and yourself. High school teachers are a natural target for this sort of attraction, considering hormones and puberty. Beth Aviv recently wrote a great article for Salon Magazine concerning”hot young teachers.” The perspective is a fresh one, as it is told from the view of a not-so-young, and not-so-hot group of teachers, who are struggling to find jobs when stacked up against this new wave of female teachers.

I want to mention another struggle female employees are having due to their attractiveness; namely, attractive female professors. Dr. Ebony Utley wrote an article concerning the way some of her male students don't show her enough respect, and ask her out on dates even. I found this curious, but not altogether surprising. The most surprising part was how much this apparently shocked her, even though she talks about how important sex appeal is in an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education, which discusses attractive professors.

This issue doesn't just apply to female professors, as you'll notice from reading the Chronicle of Higher Education article linked above. Dr Gary A. Hoover actually moved 45 minutes away from the campus he teaches on, just so he would not run into any of his potential students and create an awkward, and potentially ethically-ambiguous situation.

The opinion on whether attractiveness is a burden or an asset is still on-going. Among professors, some just find it flat out hilarious either way (as referenced in the Chronicle of Higher Education article). One professor actually thought it was a joke when he heard he had been named to the famous Lemondrop list for hot male professors. There is a co-ed version of the list here.

What are your thoughts on attractiveness in the workplace? Does it hurt or help your career? Are professors and teachers in a unique situation with this dilemma?