Sleep and the struggle

I remember the enemy,
Even though its been many months.

There was no counting sheep
Or melatonin solution strong enough
To push aside this demon.

I had forgotten the late nights packed full of
Nothing.

The return felt like a well-worn glove,
Warm, and snug as it stretched onto smooth hands,
Never worse for wear despite missing sleep.

How did I best you before and
How can I defeat you now?

Time tells all stories,
Even when it slows to its post-midnight crawl.

Wide-eyed and finished I
Await another long dawn.

Heavy heart and lust

I lied when I said forever,

although I meant it at the Time,

and every Time I said it.

I could not have meant it more,

and the leaves feel and died

and so did we, baby,

and we had no chance.

A voracious appetite for sex

and never-ending lust for the new

led us to new, but no greener, pastures,

if anything we constantly downgraded.

We dragged along our crosses,

totems to one another’s failures

that we were unwilling to help solve,

and instead decorated the walls with.

I remember your totems and idols and

somewhere along the way the love became sadness

but never regret or a Third Chance.

I’m not even sure I gave you any chances,

or if I gave you too many of them,

because it all blends together in a big mess

of hatred, deceit and misery.

There were good times,

oh, so many good times,

and the cheap smiles we would pay fortunes for now,

had all deserted us, unwilling to be bought.

You were brown, and blonde and red,

but I missed that one,

and I don’t miss you.

Play time in neutral space

And I want to play.

I’m something now but feeling hollow,

time all spent with the same result

life is a neutral game.

 

The more we push against others

and against objects,

the further we drift from anything that is real.

 

I find myself in a void with strangers,

strangers as half-empty, half-hollow as me,

but I don’t think they can see it.