The fake…

The lonely hours,

after conversation died,

crawl through my ears;

a vacant, dead space.

 

Something shimmers,

ghosts just out of sight;

a chilling memory,

a phantom feeling,

or a brief hallucination.

 

The quiet hours,

where transport trucks pass,

filled with the tools to stupify a nation,

or the liquid to smother, choke, burn life.

 

The dead hours,

a piece of sanity chips away,

under the chisel of self-doubt,

falling down an endless drain,

leaking with earwigs, sewer bugs,

and all the poison memories

of the ones who got away.

 

Toxic aftermath,

an east-side story with west-side actors,

believe the hype, smoke and mirrors,

it's the best you'll get in the theatre of life.

 

The sound of fake birds thunder overhead,

above all of the fake mustangs and jaguars;

only the crunch of bone and pain is real now. 

so what's the rush?

Haven't remembered my dreams in weeks,

there's been nothing worth remembering,

you've managed to slip away from them,

there's nothing you were resembling.

 

And that's the life of it,

and what happens by the death of it,

always trying hard,

always suffering a split,

in your guilty conscience,

maybe I was obnoxious,

and maybe you never tried,

hard enough,

to prevent the greatest loss,

so grimey and well-stuck in,

you couldn't prevent the deterioration with floss,

and constant brushing, of your teeth,

more appropriately, fangs,

you sucked the life out of me,

but i kicked you away in the nick of time,

the hero never dies,

at least not without coming back;

unexplainable life through a time-stream,

or I'm-better-than-Jesus resurrection dream.

 

And I was better, and definitely still am,

because I'd never abandon you,

or pretend I existed in a fake book,

with fake people, living a fake life,

floating on a boat that became symbolic,

of people's dreams;

forgotten after they led them somewhere else,

ungrateful, but thats the way humans are,

we don't care what brought us there,

after a trip, nobody thanks their car,

and maybe we should,

or at least the vehicle's engineers,

if not its inventors, who brought us the technology,

just don't take a look at the product's toxicology,

and the way it's destroying what really matters.

 

But we never look behind the curtain,

there's too much risk and work involved,

we only want you to bring us the riddle,

if it's a Sherlock-problem, sure to be solved,

and that's the way our dreams dissolved,

when there was nothing left to boggle us,

and keep us guessing and hoping,

because hope and guesswork died with the dreams,

or maybe it was vice versa.

 

Nothing is certain, and nothing is eternal,

humanity doesn't understand the permanent,

because our relationships aren't,

and neither are our lives,

bbut maybe our souls are,

or at least our presence,

and I'm not talking social media,

or even the famous, and encyclopedia Brittanica;

nothing lasts.

 

I would say it's better that way,

because it makes life feel more important,

that's a suggestion from Dorian Gray,

but an expiry date never made the milk taste better,

or the dream have longer legs to walk with.

 

Dreams still die,

a lonely, cruel death,

curled up, vomiting,

in a forgotten corner,

the party still rages on.

 

One down goes unnoticed,

in this unnatural selection,

when there are still fifty-two up,

and flipping like madmen,

giving out drinks,

and playing games involving thumbs,

which separate us from other animals,

but never from ourselves,

and thats the struggle of life.

 

The fine walk along the line of,

community and liberty,

falling apart around our ears,

the ones in the know reduced to tears,

or clouding the pain with smoke,

not accompanied by mirrors,

it's real life,

no illusions,

there's no David Blaine or Criss Angel,

and no saints or sinners,

all losers, with no winners,

and that's where life is,

the edge of heaven or hell,

purgatory,

and we'll all waiting,

but it's never long enough,

the Ticktockman's clock is ticking,

a little faster than we'd hoped,

because nobody's only working forty,

not in North America.

 

Time runs in fast shoes,

before the gun even goes off,

it's cheating us,

but we're cheating ourselves,

so who cares,

that's life,

what's the rush?

 

We'll all meet end up at the finish line,

one way or another,

no winners,

but new records.

In need of a hound-master

The blank page is scaring me,

it starts staring at me,

begging me for more;

a sexual vixen with an appetite for destruction,

or maybe that was reproduction,

that can't be satisfied with my best efforts.

 

Sometimes art is begging to come out,

but won't throw you a bone for ideas;

such a fickle, untrained mutt,

slobbering and chewing on your intellectual furniture,

leaving holes in your favourite, comfortable, slippers,

and never retrieving your paper in the lawn.

 

The mutt needs training,

where's the hound-master?

all those years

All those years,you just stopped growing,and when growth stops,you’re dying.Allen said relationships are like sharks,keep swimming forward, or die,and that’s what life is like as well.Remember,life revolves around relationships,they make you who you are today,and who you’ll be tomorrow;they predict your future.Maybe that’s why you had moments,when you were full of greatness,when your character suggests the opposite.

disobedient dog, reserved hand

scraped knees from your mouth's actions,

scraped soul from your mental failures,

you're a walking band-aid,

all damaged goods and pain,

no good for anything real,

only as a chew-toy,

for a disobedient dog,

or one whose mess you watch being made,

with a reserved hand.

 

leash your failure,

and hide it away again;

dogs will be dogs,

and bitches will be bitches.

the lonely prize

A shadow is spreading in my heart,

viral by nature,

an infection feeding off my memories,

swelling my chest.

 

Blood leaks out with love,

while hope struggles to hold on,

a seemingly endless battle

 

I no longer own my heart,

and truth be told,

I haven't owned it in years.

 

It's been sold to the highest bidder,

time and time again;

the person too intoxicated to understand,

and willing to show me the most affection,

a double entendre of failure. 

 

The auction's up,

and the bets are being placed;

an over-anxious auctioneer,

a lonely prize.

 

The neon life;

tweets, posts, blogs, status updates,

friends, music, movies and video games,

sports, jogging, working out, dancing,

poetry,

nothing works for long,

and it shouldn't.

 

Life is meant to be tackled had on,

hit your bruised forehead again,

on the same dull, white brick wall,

from school of old and the office of new,

until you need a release.

 

What release?

none.

 

Create as you will,

nothing will avoid the end,

not even your art can buy time.

the lonely prize

A shadow is spreading in my heart,

viral by nature,

an infection feeding off my memories,

swelling my chest.

 

Blood leaks out with love,

while hope struggles to hold on,

a seemingly endless battle

 

I no longer own my heart,

and truth be told,

I haven't owned it in years.

 

It's been sold to the highest bidder,

time and time again;

the person too intoxicated to understand,

and willing to show me the most affection,

a double entendre of failure. 

 

The auction's up,

and the bets are being placed;

an over-anxious auctioneer,

a lonely prize.

 

The neon life;

tweets, posts, blogs, status updates,

friends, music, movies and video games,

sports, jogging, working out, dancing,

poetry,

nothing works for long,

and it shouldn't.

 

Life is meant to be tackled had on,

hit your bruised forehead again,

on the same dull, white brick wall,

from school of old and the office of new,

until you need a release.

 

What release?

none.

 

Create as you will,

nothing will avoid the end,

not even your art can buy time.

must, find, soul

I'm choking for life,

in a white, plaster box;

poem won't save me.

 

Inhuman transformation;

man and machine to monster.

 

Ugly, broken, worn-out hybrid,

new technology won't save me.

 

Must,

find,

soul.