friends

representation of the Damned

/ andyveilleux / 2 Comments

Stability is a relative term,

when speaking of madness.

 

Those days left me long ago,

I remember it feeling like home,

and it's still such a tempting offer.

 

A history of my madness,

can be traced on onion-skin,

paper,

even by the poorest artists.

 

You'll find father figures,

lovers,

friends,

and those of greatness.

 

We all end up face down,

sucking on the dirt with our,

dead faces, flesh rots to bone,

we massage the dirt with cheek bones,

protruding from our skulls with their worn,

enamel.

 

There is no shell for the hearts,

and each abandonment kills a,

piece of heart,

that will never return,

but will never leave either;

a representation of the Damned.

 

Be certain,

we are all the Damned.

Guys talk about their feelings…seriously!

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

I talked for a few hours with a dear friend of mine last night. He's been having a bit of a rough go of things, and I wanted to discuss them with him. As one would imagine, the pain involves love.

I think many will find it interesting that guys do, in fact, talk about love, hurt, and painful emotions we are experiencing (note: you may close your mouths at any time ladies [and I bet most girls are surprised I made an open mouth joke that was not sexual by nature!]). While writing this post, I had the privilege of stumbling upon a post by my friends over at WTF is up with my lovelife?! that discussed how many guys are actually reading and following along with their site (which was intended for women). They discuss being surprised by the response from guys, who legitimately want to discuss their love lives, and ask for advice. Imagine that, guys seeking advice AND discussing romantic, mushy things?! Bizarro world, right? Wrong.

In fact, there are some guys that often discuss their romantic lives with one another, at least in my friends circle (and no, by "romantic" I don't mean sexual). I'd like to talk a bit about what I learned from my discussion with a friend going through a serious break-up. Read their post first, so you can understand the study they mention which discusses how guys tend to store up emotions, resulting in massive break-downs, and being more hurt than their female counter-parts when things go down the tubes. It will put this in proper context, I think.

There are no words you can say to a friend to make them feel better when they're suffering through the aftermath of love. When love is lost, a part of you is as well. Time is the only thing that will heal you, but time does not pass in moments like these. Instead of the age-old cliché that time heals all wounds, I would like to offer a modification. Experience heals all wounds, at least to a degree where life is livable again. Let's face it, that person you love, is never going to go away 100 per cent. They will always have a special ability to irritate, anger, and even delight you. It's weird, but it's true.

Time passing in and of itself, does nothing. If one sits in solitude and broods over their loss, one does not heal. The scar tissue will also become much greater. I tend to brood when I'm miserable, and it's not healthy. It's a lonely place, losing love, and you can feel very much alone for some time afterwards. The key is to make sure you're trying to experience life again. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Go spend time with people. Get out and talk to other people. Sure, you'll get a lot of the same responses: "I know it sucks, but you'll feel better soon," "To be honest, I didn't really like her," "You're better off without her," etc etc etc….  but it's better than nothing. Conversation lets you express what you're feeling (well, try your best to express that which can not truly be expressed – and trust me, we poets have been trying to express it forever, and failing).

It's interesting how friendship is. Last night my friend apologized for being 'selfish' by talking so much about the storm of badness that is currently his life. I laughed, and explained how it's funny the more modest/self-aware guy friends tend to feel like they are doing a disservice to a friend by a discussing their problems. If it were a disservice of friendship, then what is friendship for? (Note: this does not apply to THOSE friends who always have "issues," and always bring them up, who are actually annoying because they're so woe-is-me). Life is meant to be discusses, and shared, with your friends. Communication is great; it brings people together, and makes life that much more enjoyable as a result. Guys, don't be afraid to talk about your problems. It's unhealthy not to, and it will lead to some serious problems for you.

Open letter to my friends

/ andyveilleux / 7 Comments

Hi everyone,

Friends come and go throughout the years, and one's friend circle is always changing. If you're reading this right now, you're involved in my life to some degree. Maybe you're one of my childhood friends, a close friends, an acquaintance, a fellow poet, a twitter friend, family, a mentor, a client, or even a teammate. Either way, this post is meant for you.

The last couple of years for me have been rather interesting. I've loved, and lost, hard. I've grown, and learned a lot in the process. I've launched myself into new business, and gained new skills. I've played the highest level of sports that I ever will, and beat out many people's expectations of me. I've lost some important people through break-ups, falling-outs, and even death. I've gained a lot of new important people as well.

I'm 23 years old, a month from being 24. I'm in good health with the exception of my broken leg, but it's healing well and relatively painless now. I'm at an interesting crossroads in my life at the moment, and I wanted to take the time to discuss it with all of you. First of all, I should discuss the meaning of this post.

I wanted to write this post for a couple of reasons. First,  I wanted to reconnect, to an extent. I feel like there's a great disconnect in communication amongst people. I think the prevalence of social media has increased this divide in some ways. Social media has made it easier to get in touch, but more difficult to get close. It brings with it a lot of distraction, and an automatic distance in communication. Social media lets us extend the amount of people who we can keep in touch with to an extent that is impossible to manage.  I wanted to let everyone know that I haven't forgotten about you, even if we don't talk often.

Second, I wanted to let everybody know that I'll be making some major changes to my life in the next couple of years. Next year is a question mark. Will I start a master's degree? Will I move away for part of it if I do? Will I start my business before my master's degree? Will I juggle both, if so? Will I even start my business? What if one of the careers I applied for hire me? You get the point. The next couple of years will be a time of dramatic change in my life, and I hope you will follow along with me and offer advice.

Most importantly, I wanted to say thank-you. Sincerely, thank you. If you're reading this, you're here for a reason. Life is fragile. It can leave us unexpectedly and suddenly. I never see people take the time to thank their social net, despite how important it has been. I would not be where I am now without all of the wonderful people that have pushed me, and picked me up when I fell. You're great, and I've been fortunate to be surrounded by such positive influences in my life. Thank you all, I look forward to being in your corner and encouraging you all to accomplish the wonderful things many of you will be doing. Never give up.