Living on fumes

You will break upon my shores,
Rocky escarpments and impossible climbs,
Only meant for the hardest of climbers.

I am intoxicating,
All-consuming
And you will love me.

I feed on the affection of others
Despite my high affection for myself,
I worry about starving.

I will not tear you apart or leave you hollow,
I will leave you full.

I live life at too fast or a speed too often
And I eat through fuel like a metropolis,
Eventually the fossilized plant matter is
All gone
All consumed
And then what happens?

I guess I leave or you do,
After living off fumes for too long,
Or maybe we learn to live on less.

the poet as failure

My task as a poet is to

write something like the truth

while weaving it with enough fiction

to make myself seem

bigger than life or

maybe that's a lie.

 

Maybe my job is to tell the details

and intricacies of my life in such depth

that it grabs onto your heart and pulls you

into the void the sits my inside

my chest where nothing but despair

and occasionally the feint flame of love

exists.

 

You get to watch the caverns walls

shed water and occasionally a stalactite

gives in to gravity and falls to the floor

like so many poor and forgotten memories,

but nothing much lives in there,

at least not for long.

 

We poets try,

by spewing over pages and computer screens

with the hope that something will catch your eye

and you will come and sit with us at least for awhile

and let us into your heart

and give us the attention we desire,

or maybe we just need to write what we do,

it's pushed forth like a volcano explodes

lava and ash pushed through the atmosphere and

any hole that is available,

much like my memories of some of the ones,

and afterwards we lie dormant,

spent.

 

Mostly,

poetry is an act of failure,

I try to describe the infinite in finite symbols,

these semi-useful words,

in an attempt to record events

and initiate the desired emotions,

and sometimes I succeed,

surely sometimes I succeed,

but I also fail often,

and that's the beast of poetry.

a wretched success

 

I can't change

but I

tried.

 

At least hard enough

for that guilty

piece of my

mind to

run and

hide.

 

I pretend it vanished,

but I know where it sits.

 

It sits in the old me,

the dead,

molted,

me,

hiding,

and waiting.

 

Waiting for nothing.

 

It's return will be a touch

too late to save me

from myself.

 

Is that a pity,

or success?

a dreamscape reality of broken memories

It was never about,

not wanting to have

to

change

my plans

or your hopes

and dreams.

I always knew I’d fail,

and you are

a mistake

I never wanted to make.

fingers

triggers

dancing

together.

end of all

somethings,

that started from

nothings.

A sick,

pathetic,

dance of naked

bodies strewn across

a dreamscape reality.

memories shimmer

in the distance

too far for me

to see clearly,

but close enough

to remind me what

I have missed out on

all of these broken years.

And all of my words were false

 

I failed you,

I failed you,

I failed you,

as a lover,

and a friend.

 

The blood has drained,

the night has settled,

but the love won't leave.

 

I pour words onto the pain,

pain uses me in return by,

pointing out the futility,

of everything I've written.

 

Pain questions my words,

and on bad nights,

my dear friends,

I do the same.

to err is human

A raging beast I've become,

crush that rock with my bare palm,

I emerge from a broken landscape,

promises of brighter future dance on,

my blood-soaked, salty, sweat-dripping lips;

too raw,

powerful,

for soft peers,

an outcast thrown out,

of he broken institutions,

of the white towers,

and all their failure.

 

I crawl,

powerfully,

not pathetically,

slow and steady,

an ascent against odds,

far past improbability,

balancing on the edge of possibility.

 

You should question where that places you,

fragile-sanity girls, and broken-ego ex-lovers,

and apathetic strangers who watch the tides turn,

while never being the reason.

 

Tides turn at the will of a tremendous beast,

of power unforeseen since ancient Asgardian myths,

Jotunn, who will not be stopped by the melt of glaciers,

super-nova sun, global warming, be damned for your impotence.

 

Some things will not end,

human,

some thing will not end,

despite your limited imagination,

highlighting all your ineptitudes and flaws,

culminating in an incredible parade of suck.

 

To err,

is indeed,

to be human.

all those years

All those years,you just stopped growing,and when growth stops,you’re dying.Allen said relationships are like sharks,keep swimming forward, or die,and that’s what life is like as well.Remember,life revolves around relationships,they make you who you are today,and who you’ll be tomorrow;they predict your future.Maybe that’s why you had moments,when you were full of greatness,when your character suggests the opposite.

disobedient dog, reserved hand

scraped knees from your mouth's actions,

scraped soul from your mental failures,

you're a walking band-aid,

all damaged goods and pain,

no good for anything real,

only as a chew-toy,

for a disobedient dog,

or one whose mess you watch being made,

with a reserved hand.

 

leash your failure,

and hide it away again;

dogs will be dogs,

and bitches will be bitches.