andyveilleux

Being hot: friend or foe at work?

/ andyveilleux / 4 Comments

 

Being attractive is usually seen as a positive thing in our material world. Most discussions involving hot employees and their jobs used to suggest the same. While I wouldn't suggest the prevailing trend has reversed, many have suggested the opposite may be true in some cases. Everyone recalls the Citibank employee who was 'fired for being too sexy.' I refuse to get into a lengthy conversation about it, as we definitely don't have all the facts, but it is an interesting case you should become familiar with.

Elizabeth Bromstein recently wrote a great blog on Workopolis about whether or not being hot could prevent you from being hired. The blog also discusses the idea of competition among same-sex employees, as well as a myriad of other interesting sexual statistics.

The most interesting profession in regards to sexuality has got to be that of a teacher/professor. EVERYBODY has had a teacher-figure that they were attracted to at some point in their education I'm sure. They were, or maybe are, often the topic of idle, or not so idle, chatter amongst your peers and yourself. High school teachers are a natural target for this sort of attraction, considering hormones and puberty. Beth Aviv recently wrote a great article for Salon Magazine concerning”hot young teachers.” The perspective is a fresh one, as it is told from the view of a not-so-young, and not-so-hot group of teachers, who are struggling to find jobs when stacked up against this new wave of female teachers.

I want to mention another struggle female employees are having due to their attractiveness; namely, attractive female professors. Dr. Ebony Utley wrote an article concerning the way some of her male students don't show her enough respect, and ask her out on dates even. I found this curious, but not altogether surprising. The most surprising part was how much this apparently shocked her, even though she talks about how important sex appeal is in an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education, which discusses attractive professors.

This issue doesn't just apply to female professors, as you'll notice from reading the Chronicle of Higher Education article linked above. Dr Gary A. Hoover actually moved 45 minutes away from the campus he teaches on, just so he would not run into any of his potential students and create an awkward, and potentially ethically-ambiguous situation.

The opinion on whether attractiveness is a burden or an asset is still on-going. Among professors, some just find it flat out hilarious either way (as referenced in the Chronicle of Higher Education article). One professor actually thought it was a joke when he heard he had been named to the famous Lemondrop list for hot male professors. There is a co-ed version of the list here.

What are your thoughts on attractiveness in the workplace? Does it hurt or help your career? Are professors and teachers in a unique situation with this dilemma?  

With great [influence] comes great responsibility

/ andyveilleux / 2 Comments

Over the past 36 hours, some interesting things have happened. I got to witness first-hand how influential some of my writing could be. I want to share it as a case-study for all of you to follow.

Recently, I have been reading a lot of articles concerning influence, so I guess it is fitting that I got a practical crash-course in it. Influence is not the amount of followers you have on Facebook, or Twitter. Influence is how many of those people listen to you, and heed what you're saying. There are a lot of sides to this story, and many opinions, and I will try to go over as many of them as I can without violating any of my sources' privacy.

Many of you will recall the ordeal I had with Bodyworks (which was not truthfully their fault at all, as the blog posts will inform you) yesterday. I was contacted by an individual advising me of a course at Bodyworks. They were not authorized to market on behalf of Bodyworks, but were running their class out of the gym. The text message I received seemed like the person was pretending to be a friend of mine, talking about how plans had changed, and they were going to be meeting me at the gym at a different time for the course (which they spoke at length about).

My realization of influence started with a phone call this afternoon, around 4:15pm. A friend filled me in on the course instructor's side of the story (who he is friends with, and had just met with at the time of his call). He warned me that my influence was greater than I thought, and I should wield it responsibly, as the instructor's course was now cancelled. I informed him that I would talk with the owner, and discuss the course being reinstated, due to the miscommunication. The question is: what set me off, and made me pursue this?

First, I should say that it has been mentioned several times that must people would have just ignored the text message. I am not most people, in this context, for a number of reasons. I am involved with social media consulting, strategy creation, etc. This certainly doesn't make me an expert marketer, but does make me an interested and active marketer. Also, I am a trained journalist, who still practices journalism, and pays particularly close attention to ethics of companies. Lastly, I am always interested in legal decisions as they pertain to companies' decisions, and i was certain text message marketing was illegal.

To address these concerns, let me explain chronologically. I was at work when I received the message. I was annoyed by it, and frustrated with it. I feel text-message marketing is unethical, because texts should be used for personal communication only. I have been informed the text message was meant as a personal message rather than a marketing message, but there were definitely elements of marketing in it regardless.

Upon receiving the text, I fired my own back. I included the fact that it was illegal to text message market someone without their consent, and asked the identity of the person messaging me. I asked if they were Bodyworks, or a company representing Bodyworks. In their reply, they did not address my questions, and told me to take a 'chill pill,' 'learn how to breathe,' and etc in a rather snarky way.

I sent an email to Bodyworks, demanding an explanation. I was commited to uncovering who was at fault, and why they were getting in touch with me. I was never a member of the gym, and they couldn't have gotten my number that way (was my line of thinking at the time). As it turns out, it was meant for the previous owner of this phone number, and he gave consent for it (which would not become fully clear until a bit later yesterday). Bodyworks replied to me, and was quite unimpressed with the message I had received, and how it made their company look. 

The texter messaged me today to apologize for the miscommunication, and I accepted their apology. The issue is this: Bodyworks has stopped them from being able to teach their course out of the gym. I understand Bodyworks' decision in the case, but have asked them to reconsider. I like to support athletics and fitness whenever possible, and I felt this was a great avenue for both. I expressed this concern to the representative of Bodyworks, and he understood my concerns. He informed me he was not pleased with the situation in general, but would reconsider allowing the course to operate out of Bodyworks. When he visits Sudbury in a few weeks, he plans to discuss it with his staff before making a decision.

It is important to say that Bodyworks' response to my concerns was swift, and helpful. They never tried to brush me off, or leave me hanging. They treated all inquiries and concerns seriously, and respected my perseverance in getting to the bottom of the situation. The gentleman I dealt with, who I believe owns the company, can not be blamed for their decision to close the course. They were looking after what could have become a legal issue, which all companies must take seriously in this day and age. That being said, he is reasonable, and I'm sure he will fully consider allowing the course to use his facility. 

The lessons to be learned:

– Let marketing professionals handle the marketing, and always consult with the company who is helping you out when launching any sort of campaign. (I was told it was a personal text message, but I've had the phone number for over a year, and this is the first time they contact me. How many friends do you have that don't text you in over a year?)

– One needs to be careful of how much influence they wield, and how they choose to use it. It is possible that I was hasty in reporting on the entire issue. I did not report any inaccuracies or misinformation, and have nothing to apologize for factually, but my friend suggested I should consider how much influence I have before reporting on such issues so quickly. On the other hand, I consulted with some friends who felt the reporting was justified, and that I was soft on the people who sent me a message. Some people felt my response was unnecessary, but not quite uncalled for. The spectrum ranges greatly on this issue.

– Text-message marketing is a difficult path to tread. With the frequency of number changes and lost phones, it is vital to double-check (or 'vet' as journalists say) your contacts, to ensure they are still the people you think they are. Not sending out a message in over a year, and then sending out a  marketing message is treacherous legal territory to walk on.

– In communications, always work fast and efficiently to clear up any miscommunication and answer queries. A simple text message response to my initial questions would have prevented all of this mess from happening. An explanation of who was texting me, what their purpose was, and who they were representing was all that was required. Ignoring a situation does not make it go away. Unfortunately, I think they got more than they bargained for when they accidentally fired that text to a journalist/marketing professional, and then encouraged me.

All things considered, I have no ill will towards the course instructor or gym. I have offered to consult the instructor regarding his marketing strategy next time, to ensure it goes smoothly, and hopefully help build his following. I think the program sounds rather interesting, and you can look into what was going to be taught (Systema – a Russian martial art) here.

If only I would have tripped that burglar, Uncle Ben… er… wait… 😉

Guys talk about their feelings…seriously!

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

I talked for a few hours with a dear friend of mine last night. He's been having a bit of a rough go of things, and I wanted to discuss them with him. As one would imagine, the pain involves love.

I think many will find it interesting that guys do, in fact, talk about love, hurt, and painful emotions we are experiencing (note: you may close your mouths at any time ladies [and I bet most girls are surprised I made an open mouth joke that was not sexual by nature!]). While writing this post, I had the privilege of stumbling upon a post by my friends over at WTF is up with my lovelife?! that discussed how many guys are actually reading and following along with their site (which was intended for women). They discuss being surprised by the response from guys, who legitimately want to discuss their love lives, and ask for advice. Imagine that, guys seeking advice AND discussing romantic, mushy things?! Bizarro world, right? Wrong.

In fact, there are some guys that often discuss their romantic lives with one another, at least in my friends circle (and no, by "romantic" I don't mean sexual). I'd like to talk a bit about what I learned from my discussion with a friend going through a serious break-up. Read their post first, so you can understand the study they mention which discusses how guys tend to store up emotions, resulting in massive break-downs, and being more hurt than their female counter-parts when things go down the tubes. It will put this in proper context, I think.

There are no words you can say to a friend to make them feel better when they're suffering through the aftermath of love. When love is lost, a part of you is as well. Time is the only thing that will heal you, but time does not pass in moments like these. Instead of the age-old cliché that time heals all wounds, I would like to offer a modification. Experience heals all wounds, at least to a degree where life is livable again. Let's face it, that person you love, is never going to go away 100 per cent. They will always have a special ability to irritate, anger, and even delight you. It's weird, but it's true.

Time passing in and of itself, does nothing. If one sits in solitude and broods over their loss, one does not heal. The scar tissue will also become much greater. I tend to brood when I'm miserable, and it's not healthy. It's a lonely place, losing love, and you can feel very much alone for some time afterwards. The key is to make sure you're trying to experience life again. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Go spend time with people. Get out and talk to other people. Sure, you'll get a lot of the same responses: "I know it sucks, but you'll feel better soon," "To be honest, I didn't really like her," "You're better off without her," etc etc etc….  but it's better than nothing. Conversation lets you express what you're feeling (well, try your best to express that which can not truly be expressed – and trust me, we poets have been trying to express it forever, and failing).

It's interesting how friendship is. Last night my friend apologized for being 'selfish' by talking so much about the storm of badness that is currently his life. I laughed, and explained how it's funny the more modest/self-aware guy friends tend to feel like they are doing a disservice to a friend by a discussing their problems. If it were a disservice of friendship, then what is friendship for? (Note: this does not apply to THOSE friends who always have "issues," and always bring them up, who are actually annoying because they're so woe-is-me). Life is meant to be discusses, and shared, with your friends. Communication is great; it brings people together, and makes life that much more enjoyable as a result. Guys, don't be afraid to talk about your problems. It's unhealthy not to, and it will lead to some serious problems for you.

stumbling shadow; my dear friend

/ andyveilleux / 2 Comments

I watch you,

a stumbling shadow,

a ghost of greatness past,

but not long passed by.

 

Breathing is required,

thinking will return,

when the time is ready.

 

Code red;

danger,

massacre,

the blood-bath.

 

Breathe,

bloodbath,

breathe,

keep breathing,

focus the pain,

achieve balance,

through agile memories,

that dance through pain.

 

Life continues,

dead friend,

life continues,

pain does too.

 

Experience,

not time,

the great healer;

go live,

again,

dear friend.

 

Love demands it;

Once more unto the breach,

dear friend,

once more.

UPDATE: Bodyworks not responsible for text-message marketing

/ andyveilleux / 8 Comments

UPDATE (6:39PM): A friend called me and informed me how the process works. The martial arts program is being run out of Bodyworks, but not directly tied to them. The previous owned of this phone number had signed up for the course, and was therefore texted about it. However, the approach taken by the marketer who contacted me quite strange.

Also, I have owned this phone number for well over a year, so the information of this marketer was terribly outdated. It makes sense that Ray from Bodyworks was confused about the message. That being said, he was not aware of Systema being run out of his gym tonight it appears, or was at least not wanting to be involved with it officially.

To be clear, it is not the fault of Bodyworks in anyway. My journalistic curiousity is satisfied. Thanks to Mike for calling me and filling me in on their sign-up system.

I have received an email response from Bodyworks, concerning the text-message marketing I received earlier today.

I’m not sure what to think about the email response yet. I’m happy it didn’t take them long to get back to me, but it still seems odd that someone would message me to attend their gym, who was not hired by them.

“Dear Mr. Veilleux,

We have received your complaint and I have reviewed the link you sent me directing me to your personal website.

I can assure you that this was not directed from our facility.  We DO NOT, HAVE NOT and WILL NOT provide any of our membership information to any individual or organization without having a court order to do so.  We run generic advertising campaigns with TV, radio and print and never via email/text messaging.  The campaign that is referred to in the message that you received was run last year by a local radio station so it is not even current.  I have no clue who that number belongs to and have tried calling it a few times and receive a voicemail.

We are very clear on our advertising policies and the rules and regulations that we are required to follow.  All of our material and methods are not only vetted by our legal counsel but also the groups we advertise with.  My guess is that someone has somehow sent you an old message.

We always give away prizes for charity events as well as marketing campaigns.  Any information captured by these agencies is kept and maintained by these associations.  We never receive this information as they have to comply with their privacy laws in the same manner that we do.

I have also reviewed your comments about the message you received and they are unjust and I would kindly request that you remove such unwarranted comments.

Trusting that I have satisfied your query.


Best Regards,

Ray”

In regards to Ray’s request concerning my comments: when I mention the marketer’s grammar, I assumed it was a third-party hired by them. The comments were not aimed at Bodyworks, but the third-party company I believed was working for them. The comments concerning it being illegal to text-market without customer consent is accurate, however. Ray has said it was not on his company’s behalf, but some questions still remain about it. To clarify, Bodyworks was apparently not responsible for the message, and it came from someone else. Who would message me concerning a company they aren’t reprenting? Questions abound. Any ideas?

Bodyworks fail: text-message marketing

/ andyveilleux / 2 Comments

I just received a text message (1:28pm), from a number I don’t recognize. The message is from 1-705-###-####. It reads:

“Hey, slight change. And an update. 1- the Systema is still at Bodyworks in the downtown mall. 2- starts at 7pm. Not 6pm. Oops. My bad. 3- Tonight is a FREE trial. I love free trials. 4-It is at our own intensity. EX: so push ourselves as it is suggested. 5- lets see how well you recognize me in casual clothing. Lol. Let me know if you can make it or not. ###-####.”

First, I have no plans tonight, and have never been a member of the above-mentioned gym. Second, when did text-message marketing start? Third, is it illegal for a company to text message someone, posing as a friend, in order to try and get you out to their event? Fourth, marketing professionals should use decent grammar and have a respectable grasp on the English language (in my opinion). This marketer clearly does not have either of these traits.

Is membership at this gym so bad they need to text message random people to come? Has anyone else been marketed at directly through text messages? What’s the legal policy on this?

Do iPhone users have more sex? Does it matter?

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I'm sure everyone's read the survey, or at least seen the headline, 'iPhone users have more sex' or 'iSlut'… It goes without saying that the survey is a little informal. It was published on free online dating site OkCupid's blog, OkTrends yesterday, and has been generating a phenomenal amount of buzz. The statistics in it are not that significant, unless put in the proper context. Here is a summary of the stats, quoted from the Times' article "iPhone users have more sex" (linked above):

"The accompanying graph shows male iPhone users have had an average of 10 sexual partners by age 30, while BlackBerry users have had 8.1. What's worse? Those poor losers with Androids have only had 6. The best news may be for female iPhone users who have an average of 12.3 sexual partners by age 30, as compared with 8.8 for BlackBerry users and 6.1 for Android users."

Is it significant that iPhone users apparently have had more sexual partners? I don't think so. The significance lies in another context of the statistics; the gender statistics. Did you notice that women had more sexual partners than men by the age of 30? I think this speaks volumes for equality. I'm not suggesting that this tiny survey is akin to women getting the right to vote or anything, but I think it's great that women are feeling comfortable enough to engage in a healthy amount of sexual activity, and to share that fact.

Also, I'd like to see a comparison between the users on dating sites, in terms of sexual partners, and the non-users. Do people on dating sites have more partners? I'll be willing to guess they do. That's not a condemnation of dating sites, or the people that go on them. That would be so hypocritical of me, considering I've used dating sites to a fair degree over the past few years. To hell with the social stigma of dating sites. I've met a lot of interesting people through them (after weeding through a lot of uninteresting people). That's a discussion for another time (oh, you know, next week :P).

There is an issue with a survey like this: honesty. Are these numbers accurate? How do we know a lot of people didn't downplay their numbers? How do we know people didn't exaggerate their numbers? We don't. Still, this survey was an interesting one, and it's worth reading over the article.

What's your opinion of dating sites? Do you think the fact iPhone users have more sexual partners in this survey is significant? Do you think the numbers are high or low for a person at 30 years old?

small battles with self

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

Narcissism battles modesty,

and I wonder who will win tonight,

it's an unfair match, a raw street fight,

between a thug and a gentleman,

who can't communicate on the same level;

one fights with a sword,

that never encountered a pen it liked,

the other theoretically knows the pen is mightier,

but fears the reality of cold steel.

Some things don't work in the real world,

and some things hurt for keeps.

Sometimes wars are lost forever,

one small battle at a time.

sleep well far away

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

There's a frustration seeping through my skin,

lighting my best nights up in a painful, pretty fire,

I hope you enjoy the view.

To be honest,

I never spared a thought for you,

looking down from glass ceiling,

you were caged by emotional limitations,

you had placed on yourself long ago,

and never let go,

of,

and it was too late even back then;

hasn't it bee a decade yet?

It feels like a century,

and that's the best thing i could say about you,

we're sharing a thought,

doomed to expire after this poem ends,

so savour it;

maybe it hit,

I was never your saviour,

and couldn't be,

but we tried,

and that's more than we could say,

about most people.

At least remember that,

if you share any memory at all,

there was never grace before the fall,

that's only for the movies, books,

and other relationships without you.

 

Sleep well,

and far away from me.

Double standards: an interesting experiment via WTF is up with my love life

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Now, I've been following WTF is up with my love life?! for quite awhile now. To summarize, it is a website concerned with anything relating to dating, relationships, romance, love, etc. It's a great blog, and features some interesting guest bloggers, and neat experiments. I encourage everyone to follow the blog, and real through it.

First, you'll learn a lot about love, sex, etc., especially if you're a bit unexperienced with the whole game (not meant in a disrespectful way, but dating, sex, love definitely have a game element to them). Second, you'll find great stories, which you should be able to relate to. Third, you can ask them for advice concerning your own love life. Fourth, and most importantly, They unveil a little of the underbelly of love and sex, which most people pretend doesn't exist, or deny the existence of!

Now, onto the experiment I mention in the title. The experiment is appropriately named "My "Experimental" WTF?! Summer," and it features a girl named Roz. She set out a list of ten rules for her summer, including things such as "I must approach a new guy every night hat I'm out on the town," and "If the kisses are lacking, then everything else probably is too. I must pursue no further." Her experiment, as you may notice, throws a lot of conventional gender roles on their head. She is charging herself with approaching guys, and in many cases, makes some of those important "first moves" that guys are apparently supposed to make according to the stereotypes. Also, she is going to be physical with these guys on the first date.

The experiment has been ongoing for over two months now. Roz recently posted an update to the challenge called "The WTF?! Summer Challenge: Midterm Review." She discusses how the experiment is going so far, and what she has learned thus far (in ten lessons!) I personally think the experiment is a great idea. I've read a lot of articles on dating, romance, and sex that feel so fake, and don't feel like reality in the least. I enjoy reading about someone who takes an honest approach to romance, and gets into the nitty-gritty of cross-gender relations. I encourage everyone to read the blog, and let me know what you think about it. I've often considered writing about my love life, and am happy to find that a lot of people can do so in an honest and open way, without losing their anonymity. The comments are yours. 🙂