The poor Quidi Vidi dead

There’s a cemetery on Forest Road
As romantic
Old
And atmospheric as one could ask for,
but it has become crowded.

The dead are now squeezed between a superstore
Penitentiary
A parking lot
And roads.

The bright lights,
A mark of any city,
Invade the sleep of the dead
Constantly illuminating their resting places
And as the lights get brighter
Due to increased innovation,
The dead lose more ability to sleep.

Progress always marches over the bones of ancestors
Sometimes it is unintentional,
But it is always stupid and soul-crushing.

Thoughts on a bus on a snowy February evening

I don’t think about it anymore,
Or that’s what I tell you and
I’ll flash a trademark smirk out of
The corner of my handsome face to
Sink the hook in for my lies.

I’m harmless in love and life but
Don’t think you can walk away unchanged
I change everyone I touch and
Mostly for the better
Although the void that comes from
My absence
Can be life threatening
and possibly insatiable.

But isn’t that life?

A series of holes we try to fill with
Whatever fits in
Hoping something stood the bleeding or
At least slows it down enough for us to limp on.

Sometimes it works
At least temporarily,
And we hobble along like wounded soldiers
Or drunken idiots.

There’s no medic or stomach pump coming
And like mercury,
The pain and wounds never stop accumulating.

Some of us are tougher than others,
But what’s the harder,
More courageous choice?

Do we limp on and eventually be put down as old dogs
Or
Choose a time to bow out of the tragicomedy?

Living on fumes

You will break upon my shores,
Rocky escarpments and impossible climbs,
Only meant for the hardest of climbers.

I am intoxicating,
All-consuming
And you will love me.

I feed on the affection of others
Despite my high affection for myself,
I worry about starving.

I will not tear you apart or leave you hollow,
I will leave you full.

I live life at too fast or a speed too often
And I eat through fuel like a metropolis,
Eventually the fossilized plant matter is
All gone
All consumed
And then what happens?

I guess I leave or you do,
After living off fumes for too long,
Or maybe we learn to live on less.

Transitions of need

There is a transition between

can not live without and

could not live with,

then and now.

 

The first time is before

the break

and the next time

is the aftermath of it all.

 

There are only ever

two massive shifts

and then the love dies,

which is to say the passion

goes away but it can still

play on your heart strings

and beat you up on lonely nights.

 

But,

It no longer owns you.

Once more with feeling

A steel bucket with stagnant water,
Calcium collecting with soap residue,
the heat from the sauna burns it all until it
Is the bucket also.

And the water begs for something fresh,
A splash of multi-coloured dye to smack down
Altering the water forever and making it
New.

There have been splashes before
With two for one and also
Some of the brand new loves,
But it’s mostly worn-out and the same.

And now there you are,
A splash of colour in the grey-rainy world
Poised to set my world on fire,
If we let you.

A winning streak

I got more than seven hours
Of much-needed and dreamed about
Sleep
For two nights in a row.

Maybe I just needed the company,
Or maybe it was the couch,
Or maybe it was a dream.

I feel somewhat rested
With a sore back but
No other downsides.

No melatonin,
No secret gimmicks,
No early bed-time,
Just real,
Honest
Sleep.

These days that is the best
Winning streak
I have had in years.

One thing about phoenixes

It is the greatest disappointment,

the most botched assassination of our time,

there was poison and a gun

and you threw me in a lake,

but I rose despite the celebrations.

 

They say to play to the crowd,

but that’s difficult when you’re the villain

or more likely

an anti-hero.

 

There are hisses and boo’s

and maybe somebody throws a lamp

or a hamper full of your clothing at you,

but you move on.

 

I can imagine the shock while you

were smiling and thinking about how

you had defeated me,

the way you grinned as a boy pulls the wings

off a fly

or the legs and antennae

off an ant,

but suddenly the writhing insect became

something more.

 

I can’t imagine the shock of it,

and the attempt at refocusing the

magnifying glass until you realized

my body had burned itself already

and the ashes of me would no longer catch.

 

There’s one thing about the phoenix,

once I’ve feasted on my flesh in my own fire,

no pain can push me back or chain hold me down,

I soar.

 

Your strongest hate and spite could never touch me now

and certainly

should never again

and there is only death in you.

sparks and flares

Are you a memory?

I can’t remember where you

came from.

 

Did I invent you,

do you even matter?

I’m not sure you ever did

at least right now,

and I don’t care.

 

There’s the person you think

you know,

the many personalities you know

they are made of,

and then who they are,

but you never know someone fully.

 

That isn’t to be sad or

pessimistic,

because it’s ok not to know everything

about your lover.

 

Mystery and novelty are

important,

but you need to know enough about them

that you can see the warning signs.

 

Red flags shot up years before we

walked away

but we were too stupid.

 

I feel I’ve learned a thing or six,

and I’ve learned the difference between

warning flares and

sparks.

Today is alright

My sleep schedule isn’t fixed,

I have tests and deadlines coming up,

I’m flat broke and struggling through a depression,

and it doesn’t seem like there is much relief coming,

but today is a good day.

 

Life is all about perspective sometimes,

even when it’s kicking me in the throat,

because it could be kicking me in

the throat

and the balls.