I read an interesting article by Naomi Wolf in NY Mag this morning, which concerned me. The article proposes the male libido is becoming less and less of a force, and it’s because of pornography. To be honest, I don’t watch much pornography, and never really have. However, I have watched my fair share over the years, and some of it has changed my expectations of sex, and had a large impact on my sexuality.
I’m not sure how to quantify the effect porn has had on my sexuality, or more specifically my libido, but it’s worth discussing the possible effects. Naomi (who is a brilliant author, by the way) claims that porn is making male expectations of sex unreasonable, and males having access to naked women (note: plural) is killing their libido. This debate enters into the realm of how to have a successful family (i.e. the parents staying together) and the adventurous ways that younger women are acting to try and keep the attention of their male counterparts.
I have noticed the young female shift towards adventure more and more the older (or just more experienced) I get. It is not uncommon for females to consider threesomes, or at the very least, kiss another girl while drinking. I’ve had some real shockers lately in the females kissing females category, as I’ve been informed of some fairly devout Catholic girls making out at a bar. The religious denomination is not necessarily the shocker; the fact of who the girls were is though. That’s another story.
My friends, new and old, male and female, know that I am a very sexual person. That is not to be confused with being a “man-whore,” which despite claims to the contrary, is not true. I like to be adventurous, and open with my sexuality, but I don’t think that’s abnormal for a male in his mid-twenties. I’ve put a lot of thought into sexual desire, and what effect porn has on it, but never had I found an article like Naomi’s that discussed the issue so openly. I believe that porn DOES have a negative effect on the male libido, and that IS a serious issue. I’ve experienced a loss of sexual desire when I watch porn too often, and I have all but stopped watching it as a result of that. Monogamy can be a challenge even when the sex life is entertaining, so anything that weakens a couple’s sex life can only be detrimental to the relationship’s chances of survival.
Do you think that pornography is affecting male sexuality negatively? Do you think it’s possible to find a link between increased divorce rate and the rise of porn?
Author: andyveilleux
When aggression goes too far in sports: part two
As some of you will be aware, I have discussed violence and discipline in sports in a previous blog. Unfortunately, several incidents have happened in the last few weeks, which have forced me to reopen the discussion. I have played in several different sports leagues in this city. The sports include soccer (obviously), ball hockey, basketball, and even ultimate Frisbee. I’ve played them from the time I was a youth, into beer leagues, to men’s leagues, and even varsity. That being said, for all the fun I’ve had, I’ve also witnessed some terrible sportsmanship.
The worst league I’ve played in to date has been the ball hockey league I currently find myself in. The Greater Sudbury Ball Hockey League has demonstrated some of the worst acts of poor sportsmanship that I’ve ever seen. One could argue that it’s a league based on hockey, and hockey is a violent sport, but that argument is ridiculous.
For two years I’ve played pick-up games of ball hockey on Sundays, and I have NEVER witnessed a malicious attack in those games. One might say that the GSBHL is more competitive, so the action gets more intense, and tempers flare. Anyone who plays in the GSBHL will know it is not exactly a league of hidden gems as far as talent is concerned, so this argument holds no water. I have also heard it said that some of the players are out of shape, and therefore play a dirtier game to try and keep up with their faster competitors. I don’t think being slower means one has to play dirtier, and I’ve seen a lot of players who aren’t in the best of shape play very effectively against fast opponents without fouling them. There is an acceptable way to use the body in ball hockey.
The lack of sportsmanship in the GSBHL takes away the fun part of sport; namely, friendly competition. Last night, Skater’s Edge (my team) had the privilege of facing off against the League Commissioner’s team, Cleaning Wave, in a playoff game. The game was a rough one, to say the least. It’s worth noting the League ‘does not allow,’ which is to say their rules claim it is illegal, to initiate body contact. The referees began the game calling even the small infractions, which is the way a league needs to be policed. As the game wore on, the refs stopped calling the body contact for the most part, and it spiraled out of control. [Notice the similar theme with my previous blog; the ref losing control of the game, and the players being unprotected].
There is a history behind the incident I am going to describe that is worth noting. A new friend of mine, Brandon, created a ball hockey league for the upcoming summer. Upon seeing his creation, and the areas he could use help in, I joined his executive team. The GSBHL is seeing the newly-formed SBHL (Sudbury [Southend] Ball Hockey League) as a threat to its league. Not only has Brandon been in touch with the GSBHL, but I have posted a link to their website on our Facebook page AND we’ll be playing on a day that allows players to participate in both leagues (we’re a Sunday league; they’re a Tuesday/Thursday league). Also, I have recommended friends to play in the GSBHL in the past, although I would not do so again with the way the League has been going.
The GSBHL’s response to the new league has been hostile, to say the least. I can’t speak to Brandon’s experiences in dealing with their league, but I can speak to my own. A man by the name of Chris Ryan Leblanc posted on the SBHL’s facebook page, representing the GSBHL. I quote, “andy why are you trying to lowball our league why dont you talk to jay and colaborate on one summer season?” I found the lowball comment to be mildly offensive, as I am not the one who created the new league, and had never spoken poorly of the league, or its operating officials either.
I replied, “Chris, I’m not trying to lowblow the GSBHL, and I think your attempt to paint this league that way is offensive. Players can play in both league (look into it; we’re scheduling games on Sundays). Do your research, and don’t start trying to imagine there’s a war going on with the GSBHL. I play in that league, and have enjoyed it.” His response afterwards was vulgur, and was removed from our facebook wall.
This brings us to last night’s game. The incident occurred near the beginning of the third period during a faceoff. First, a player on their team, wearing number 61 (my number in this league also) walked up to me as the play was winding down and elbowed me. I asked him why he would elbow me, and he walked away. I told him it was ridiculous, and he replied “then why don’t you do something about it, 61?” as he walked off to go sit on the bench. On the next faceoff, Chris and I were both out for our teams. He looked at me and said “Why the fuck are you here? Don’t you have your own league to play in?” I explained that I posted a link to this league on our Facebook wall, and I have no problem with this league. He stared at me like a pit-bull reading an astrophysics textbook, and mockingly said, “Sure.”
I paid my registration to play in the GSBHL, I deserve to play my games and not worry about being harassed by a man in his twenties who’s IQ aligns with his age. If his IQ aligned with his weight, he’d be cooking with gas, as the expression goes, but I digress.
My shift ended and I went to the bench. I discussed the exchange with my teammates who felt it was ridiculous. It is worth nothing the League Commissioner heard the exchange, and that Chris is a part of the GSBHL’s executive. What follows is even worse.
My friend Alex is the most prolific scorer on our team, which is widely known. We’re winning 6-3, or something around there, and Alex has the ball deep in their end. Chris pushes Alex and sends him flying to the ground. A scrum ensues with pushing from both teams, and the refs (finally) end the game. The teams part, with some chirping going both ways, when Chris drops a serious threat. He informs Alex that next time he hits him; Alex will not be able to get back up. HE SAYS THIS WHILE STANDING BESIDE THE COMMISSIONER OF THE LEAGUE. No word from Commissioner Jay, and no suspension incoming. No discipline handed out whatsoever.
Let’s just say, that if something happens where Chris injures somebody next game, the League could be held accountable for negligence. Should Chris decide to assault anybody, it would be premeditated assault, obviously. The legal implications of this should not be taken lightly by the League (as it has been so far).
Both teams worked their way back to their goaltenders for the traditional hand-shake following the game, but Chris and their goalie left the rink without shaking hands. Most of Cleaning Wave shook our hands after the game, and played a clean, competitive game. However, some of their players demonstrated terrible sportsmanship, and were downright embarrassing in the way they behaved.
I can understand the role of the agitator in professional sports, even if I find them in a gray area as far as ethics are concerned. In a beer league, they are laughable. It is a shame that sports sometimes attract morons, who have a way of ruining the friendly, competitive nature of sports for the people that play for enjoyment.
Social media and post-secondary institutions
I think I know what’s been bothering me lately. I’ve been feeling really anxious to achieve, and implement these enormous plans I keep coming up with. I touched on this anxiety in an earlier post, but now I believe I’ve figured it out.
Last week I attended a strategic planning meeting for Cambrian College’s Alumni Association, and it encompassed the plan for the next three years of the Association. I’ve been on placement with the Association for five weeks so far. In that time, I’ve pitched numerous ideas, and most of them have been short-term. They were accepted with great enthusiasm by my manager Celina. I’ve also pitched many long-term goals, which have been met with great enthusiasm, but have not been put into action.
That is not Celina’s fault by any means. The office staff here is too small. There are four of us, and two of us are placement students. I pitched some of these ideas to upper level management, and got relatively the same response. It all came down to budget and manpower restraints.
One cannot blame the staff here, or some of the management, because they don’t control the budget or manpower. They understand the ideas, and feel they are important, but don’t have the resources. It’s a shame. The main point I tried to raise was about the importance of using social media for a business’ success (yes, post secondary institutions are businesses).
The Alumni Association, but more so the College in general, needs to become a social media force. That’s where their customers (read: students and prospective students) are, and one ALWAYS needs to bring their advertising into contact with their customers. It is critical in today’s advertising world (as Mashable, Conversation Agent, Convince & Convert, and any respectable marketing, PR, or social media website will inform you) that a business reaches out to its customers through a strong social media presence. This is especially true when your target is mostly in the 15-19 year-old range, which if I recall correctly, is one of the most active user groups on social media.
I even tried using strong language (not to be confused with cursing and swearing) to convince Cambrian to get on board. “Laurentian is killing us in social media!” I’ve declared at several different meetings. It’s worth noting that Laurentian University is also in Sudbury, so they are technically one of Cambrian’s strongest rival schools.
All of the idea generating is great, and I love behaving like I’m part of a think-tank. To quote an industry professional I respect, people like me are “ideologues;” we just love generating ideas. When one never gets to watch their ideas soar, it begins to take a toll on one’s morale. I’m really hoping that the next institution I work for (teaser: expect a major announcement next week sometime probably), let’s me spread my wings and test how high I can fly. I’ve got an insane amount of ideas, and I can’t wait to see them come to fruition.
It’s worth recounting a personal story, which I’ve often recited to friends and colleagues. I’ve even recited it in meetings here at the College, concerning how badly Cambrian needs to get into social media. Today at Cambrian’s Journalism Advisory Committee meeting even, one of the individuals in attendance approached me after the meeting, and informed me she wanted to tell this story to others as a great example of how a post-secondary institution could use social media effectively. Here’s the story:
A few months ago, I applied to Algoma University and Laurentian University for Public Administration. I posted about applying in my Facebook status, and within 15 minutes, Laurentian University President Dominic Giroux Facebooked me. He personally invited me back to the University (as I am an alumni), and said they’d love to have me. This personal touch, from the President of the University himself, is an incredible way of encouraging prospective students to attend your school. Customer service isn’t about how well a member of the communications team can spin words anymore. Now customer service is about the whole organization buying in, and when your President buys into this manner of teamwork, your institution ‘gets’ social media.
I present two thumbs up to Dominic, and Laurentian, who honestly seem to understand the sometimes wavy seas of social media, having just launched their social media efforts in full force. Happy sailing Laurentian!
Does it matter?
I’m feeling a bit worn out this morning; is it because the end of the school year approaches? Is it the fact I may be entering into a career soon? Is it about the feeling of losing friends lately, which seems to be weighing on my mind? Is it all the responsibilities I’ve taken on in the last few months, and have committed to? I don’t know.
It’s probably a combination of all of these things and more. Some old feelings of mine have been ignited lately, and some have been extinguished. Who do I miss? Who am I happy to see gone? Who is in the right comfort zone?
Have I lost myself lately? I don’t believe so. I feel like there are more things holding me together. Am I no longer enjoying enough freedom?
Have I been helping people enough lately? Do I do enough in my community? Am I pushing others to reach their potential? Have I been jealous or spiteful of the success of others?
Where is my art? Where are the beautiful blank pages that used to be the dream-catcher for my ideas? Why are they not being filled?
Am I in love? Am I sharing enough of myself with others? Are people sharing enough of themselves with me? Are some people sharing too much of themselves with me? Am I handling too many problems for friends? Is anybody stressing me out? Am I stressing you out?
Am I successful? Am I on my way to some great successes? Or am I on my way to great failure?
Is this stream of consciousness a validation that my life has a purpose, and that I am unique, successful, and intelligent?
Does it matter?
Academic freedom -oxymoron in Canada?
Today I was informed of some very troubling news concerning academic freedom. To a select few, including myself, academic freedom in Canada seems to be a bit of an oxymoron. If you’re comfortable with the world, and don’t care about such petty things as academic freedom, go back to watching your television, chatting on MSN, or playing whatever video game was making your life significant before you came across this nonsense.
First, I want to share two quotes, which I’ve been reminded of by U of O Watch:
“An education obtained with money is worse than no education at all.”
–Socrates
“One knows … that the university and in a general way, all teaching systems, which appear simply to disseminate knowledge, are made to maintain a certain social class in power; and to exclude the instruments of power of another social class. … It seems to me that the real political task in a society such as ours is to criticise the workings of institutions, which appear to be both neutral and independent; to criticise and attack them in such a manner that the political violence which has always exercised itself obscurely through them will be unmasked, so that one can fight against them.” – (Michel) Foucault, debating/agreeing (Noam) Chomsky, 1971.
My thoughts on academic freedom are aligned with those of men such as Dr. Denis Rancourt and Dr. David Noble, who have had to battle through several challenges within the university system. Both of the struggles are still going on, and I encourage you to read about Rancourt and Noble on your own time, but also through those provided links.
The University of Ottawa has a disgraceful track record in terms of their dealings with Dr. Rancourt, and one of his former students Marc Kelly. I have a video to show you that is really quite ironic. Kelly teaching a class about campus corruption, and is arrested. When Rancourt tries reasoning with the officers in charge, he is also arrested under trespassing charges. Here is that video. A google search of ‘marc kelly ottawa’ brings up a host of related videos (if you have Kikin installed, if not click the video tab) about similar run-ins with the U of O security team, and Ottawa police officers.
I bring up the discussion of academic freedom for a direct reason. Today, I received an interesting email from Marc Kelly, which was addressed to the students of the U of O.
Here is a lengthy excerpt of the email:
but if this message fails to reach all of you, probably intercepted and censored by the University, I could stay stuck in a prison cell until early next year after the court case is all cleared. so this is my last chance to explain, in as much detail as i can, why I need each and every one of you to come out and stand by me on thursday
i need each and every one of you to help protect me from the bizzaro university!
if you came out tomorrow, i’d listen to everything you have to say to me too!
i love this world.
i love our society.
i love you if you are my friend.
i love you if you are my enemy
(but I do not love this country)
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On May 14th, 2009, three Ottawa Police Officers were sent to my home apartment by the University. They entered without a warrant, and they arrested me while I was sleeping. I was charged under the Criminal Code of Canada for “speaking directly to” the President of the University, because I asked him a question on March 4th, 2009, during the Q & A of his inaugural lecture series.
YOU CAN WATCH THE VIDEO OF ME ASKING AN ILLEGAL QUESTION HERE:
fast forward the video, my question starts at 1:11:35
Responsibility to Protect: a Doctrine of Humanity
http://events.onlinebroadcasting.com/uottawa/030409/index.php
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I DO NOT THINK IT IS OKAY THAT IN THIS COUNTRY A STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA CAN BE ARRESTED BY THE POLICE AND PUT IN JAIL FOR ASKING A QUESTION
aren’t we not always taught by our professors, “there are no stupid questions” ?
if illegal questions exist, does that mean there are indeed stupid questions too?
if that’s true, then what’s the difference between an illegal question and a stupid question?
Here is an excerpt from my reply:
This news is very troubling, and this case speaks about university education in a very clear light. This story saddens me greatly, and further reinforces my desire to find a better place to further my education outside of Canada. I’m truly anxious to see what unfolds tomorrow, as the authorities will be alerted to this event I imagine, and he will definitely be arrested for trespassing. It is pathetic that a university can arrest him for trespassing when he poses absolutely no threat to anybody on the campus, and has paid his tuition (though he is now expelled). I admire this guy’s stand, but his approach is a little bit off. I’ve realized a number of reasons why his paper was rejected. First, the basis of it doesn’t seem that scientific, despite the formulae present in it (I found a copy of his proposal online – http://sites.google.com/site/marckellyuottawa/test). Secondly, if you check his references you will find U of O’s public enemy number 1 among them – Denis Rancourt. The idea behind the paper seems interesting enough, and I would have thought some individuals in the physics department would have loved to help him with his research.
So far from this email and my provided links we’ve gathered a number of things. First of all, it’s illegal to ask the President of a university a question. Secondly, that academic freedom is not a guarantee in Canada, according to James Turk, executive director of the Canadian Association of University Teachers, who suggests he is dealing with at least 25 to 30 cases at the moment. Thirdly, any questioning of the political leanings of a university’s top administrators will find you in the university’s doghouse, or in the case of Dr. Noble, forced to sue the university you work at for defamation.
I am not suggesting that every university in Canada is void of academic freedom, but I am suggesting that universities take a serious look at how free they allow their professors and students to be. Academic freedom SHOULD BE the cornerstone of any proper university education , although that is the ideal and not the reality presently. My experiences at Laurentian were good, but I only did one undergraduate degree there, and was never employed at the institution (so my experience has been admittedly one-sided in all of it).
For more information on all of that is going on at University of Ottawa, please look into this website, U of O Watch.
People should cherish each other more
As I sat in my office at Cambrian, Go West by Anti-Flag came on my iPod. I was in a particularly somber mood this morning, and the lyrics captured my attention:
Like a ghost
Emptiness haunted his years
Still his heart was made of nothing less than good
Insecure narrative in his head
Something less than schizophrenia
Gripping him with every move that he makes
Breath he takes
A beautiful walk alone
To his empty home
Where he’ll lay and he’ll sleep by himself
Loneliness isn’t about a lack of people around you; it’s about a lack of meaningful connections to other people. It’s never been difficult for me to find company, and even now, there have been a lot of people in my life. The problem is that I don’t always feel attached to those people.
I think it comes down to a fundamental difference in our personal philosophies. I differ from most people I know in terms of how I balance work/school and my social life. I am not different in terms of valuing my social life over work/school, but I am different because of the reasons for it. I know quite a few people who don’t care about their work and school, or are too lazy to put in an honest effort with it. I don’t fit into that category generally (we all have our lazy days, obviously).
I put my social life ahead of work/school, because it IS the essence of life. You don’t live to work, you work to live. That is a fundamental philosophical flaw in our society, in my opinion. It seems that most people feel work and/or school is the important part of their life, but this is not true. Of course, your work can be a vital part of your life, especially if you’re doing something that helps other people out, but that’s not where your happiness should stem from. What is life if you have no one to enjoy it with? Nothing.
The issue is that many people, treating work/school as more important than their social life, tend to not make enough time to hang out with their friends and family. This creates a series of problems. First of all, the lack of a meaningful social life is always detrimental to the individual. The biggest problem, however, is that a person’s social relationships suffer. This leads to a series of events that are undesirable. People become “too busy” to spend quality time with one another, leading to a system where people don’t spend as much time as they should amongst one another. This process exaggerates the feelings of isolation and loneliness people feel, and often times leads to an almost xenophobic setting, where people become too busy to meet new contacts and expand their social circles.
I understand life is busy sometimes. My life is ridiculously busy. However, we have to find time to spend amongst our friends and family, and demonstrate that spending time with one another is significant to us, rather than obligatory. I hope that people start to cherish one another more, because life is too short to throw away by focusing solely on work and school.
Work or school?
By this summer, I’ll have successfully completed five years of post-secondary education, earning an honours bachelor’s degree in History, and a diploma in Journalism. The tricky part now is deciding whether to continue onward with education, or begin working in a career.
There are some decent career options available for me, and I have sent out applications to many of them. I have also applied to universities (at the undergraduate, and graduate levels) and colleges, just to make sure I keep my options open for the fall of 2010. The question, which I attempted to address in my recent Shield article is, how much education is enough? Is a diploma and a HBA enough? I don’t really know.
Sure, I could find myself in several careers that would be well-suited for me, and offer me a chance to advance, but what would be waiting for me if I took a few more years of education and specialization?
Could I combine the two streams, and hop into a career, while also doing distance/online education to further my studies? Sure, but do I want to juggle both of those demands?
At the moment I work and attend College, and I’ve been able to keep both up without either suffering for it. That being said, the challenge of it does not scare me, but I worry about the enjoyment in it. Would I be happy working full-time, and studying part-time? Who knows.
Today I stumbled upon some more research about Finland (which should not surprise anybody), which suggested that several of its residents speak English, and are accepting of English-speaking people. This discovery led me to once again look up English programs in the Finnish education system. As always, I was attracted to a few of the programs.
I wonder though, is it a pipe dream? Could I honestly travel to Finland for a few years to pursue my graduate degree? Could I leave Sudbury behind, along with my friends and family? I believe that I could.
The issue right now is money. Five years of post-secondary education come with a hefty price tag. My parents have helped me when they could, but I am still left with $19,000 in student debt. That sort of debt has a crippling effect on one’s freedom to pursue higher education abroad. I’ve been wondering if there is some way to get a grant, or some form of money, that would let me pursue my dream, but have so far not found anything.
Maybe if I work for a few years, I could save up enough money to explore educational opportunities in Europe, and not have to worry about the pressure on a student loan anymore.
However, I fear if I do not follow some of my dreams soon, while I am unattached and free, I may never get the chance to do so. Unfulfilled dreams and ambitions seem to be a life-long sentence for regret, and the last thing I want to live with is regret.
When aggression goes too far in sports
Sports are competitive in nature, and tend to bring out the aggressive side of a person’s personality. I’ve been an athlete for a long time now at 23 years old, and I’ve seen my fair share of aggression on the pitch, rink, and court. Usually these events are harmless, and are forgotten when the players walk off the pitch. However, occasionally something happens that should makes everybody take a step back and reflect on how much aggression is too much.
The reason I bring this up is simple. I witnessed and participated in a lot of soccer this week. Tuesday night, my indoor team, Mean Machine, participated in and won a playoff game. Some of my teammates and myself then watched Southend United play against the LU Gunners following our own game. Wednesday and Thursday night, I participated in the Sudbury Athletic’s annual 3 v 3 indoor soccer tournament at the Exhibition Centre, and there were a few events that struck a chord with me. It is important to note that this is a cash tournament, BUT it is held with fun in mind. That being said, the tournament was a success overall, besides the lack of attendance.
Getting back to my point, I felt this week of soccer, plus all of the recent controversy with headshots and ugly hits in the NHL, highlighted all that is ugly with “competitive” sports. The headshots have been discussed at length, so allow me to give a more local perspective by discussing this week in Sudbury indoor soccer. First of all, the leagues and the tournament are not even classified in the competitive realm of sports, as they are technically recreational sports. This classification provides even more punch to the shameful actions I witnessed this week.
The playoff game on Tuesday was nothing too out-of-the-ordinary. It featured some rough challenges, some fairly brutal fouls, and some insults that would result in brawls if they were said face-to-face at a local bar. The game between Southend United and LU Gunners was even chippier, and featured some very questionable challenges. Several cards were handed out by the referee, Giuseppe Politi, and they were mostly for dissent. The league is lucky Politi was reffing, because I wouldn’t have felt confident that many other referees could have kept that game from escalating more than it did. The amount of chirping was not altogether surprising, considering it was a men’s first division indoor game, and several of the players often forget the seriousness (or lack thereof) of the sports game they find themselves in. That is not a slight against Sudbury soccer just a realistic observation.
The most surprising thing about the game was the way the teammates communicated amongst themselves. Rather than offering any sort of positive reinforcement when a teammate made a mistake, many of the teammates pounced on one another at every opportunity. Both of the teams behaved in this manner. Rather than comforting their teammate, who already knew he had made a mistake, some members of the team would be quick to criticize the error in a shameful display of how NOT to be a leader. This sort of behavior would be completely unacceptable in the professional world, but seems to thrive amongst some of the athletes at more competitive levels of sport, in this city at least.
I had a discussion with several of my teammates regarding these issues, and though most agreed with me, some disagreed. The common arguments can be summarized by two explanations. The first argument was that these athletes play at a high level, and their aggression was a major reason for their success at that level, so they did not have a way of just turning it off. Anybody who has played sports with me understands that I respect playing an aggressive game. I am known as a fairly physical player, who can sometimes throw some fairly crushing slide tackles. I think the difference between my game and some others is a matter of intent. My slide tackles and challenges are never malicious, and my single career yellow card is a testament to that, as are the handshakes and compliments I often exchange with the players I guard. The second argument was that these athletes are very hard on themselves, and also carry these expectations over to their teammates. I understand having high expectations for yourself and your teammates, because I often play a leadership roles on the teams I play on. That being said, you would be hard-pressed to find a teammate I have ever yelled at, or put down for their actions (unless there actions are malicious, which I have a notoriously low tolerance for). There is a way to motivate your teammates and improve their play, without negativity. In my experience, it produces much better results as well.
Some of these problems carried over into the 3 v 3 Tournament, even though it featured only six men’s teams, and only one true competitor for 1st place. I want to speak to a specific series of events that occurred last night, which caused my team’s final game to end, and forced one of my teammates to visit the hospital. There was no foul called on the play, although I will not debate the merits of that here. The incident occurred in a consolation final to decide who the 3rd place team was. The game was not a rough one by any stretch of the imagination. Many players from the teams had played on teams together in the past, some are playing together currently, and there is generally a very high level of respect amongst the athletes who were playing against each other. Jokes bounced back and forth all game, there were smiles and laughter, and most of the players were very apologetic about their fouls. Our second half keeper, Derek Morgan, even corrected the referee, Greg Sutton, in a friendly manner and refused to take a goal kick because it was truly a corner kick. This action is an uncommon demonstration of sportsmanship.
So how did my player, Mike Laplante, become injured in such a friendly game? First, I will update you on the injury. Well, Morgan facebook messaged me this morning to update me on Laplante’s injury: “apparently Mike was pretty hurt, he spent most of the night in the hospital, underwent a CT scan and has bruising on his brain and can’t perform any physical activity for at least a week.” Notice what I’ve put in bold. Anytime a player suffers bruising on his brain, I consider it a serious injury.
There was another game being played inside this soccer game. Two players were battling each other fairly hard all game, which is fine in and of itself. The issue is that it started to go too far. Both players involved are known to play a physical game, which is fine. The problems arose when the player on my team began to hack the other player maliciously, and consistently. It was obvious their player was becoming frustrated, making several comments about the uncalled fouls. The situation reached a climax when my player fouled their player from behind, causing their player to fall and lose the ball. Upon taking the ball, my player mocked the other player and told him to get back up. Their player was enraged by this, and commented “oh, so that’s how it’s going to be buddy?” The rest of the game featured the two of them taking every opportunity to guard one another. Every time their player had the ball and ours was gunning for him, Ed Veilleux would urge, “no foul!” However, the cries were in vain, and the fouls continued from both sides, without calls.
Eventually, Laplante, a player that was not involved in the dispute in any way, had the ball and was running up the field. Their enraged player ran to catch up to him, and because he could not overtake him, decided to foul him viciously from behind. The player who challenged him from behind outweighs Laplante by an easy 60 pounds. When a player 60+ pounds heavier sweeps a player’s legs out from behind, there can only be one result. Mike flew through the air, landed awkwardly on his back and bounced his head off the floor. The floor is a thin layer of turf, covering solid concrete. Everyone stopped and stared. Laplante tried to get up. He sat up, and tried to get to his feet, but doubled over in pain, his hands shaking. He started coughing, and continued shaking. We crowded around him, helpless to really do anything. We asked if he was okay, he replied “no,” and gave up even trying to sit up. The referee ended the game early. We stood with Laplante, as he coughed and shook, and told us he tasted blood.
So what happens now? Nothing. There are always going to be aggressive players, and players who end up going too far when they are lost in anger. Ultimately, the referee is responsible for protecting players, and after that, the disciplinary committee is. The referee let a game slip away from him, a player lost control, and now someone has been seriously injured.
It is important to make one critical note. I’ve watched the player who committed the foul play for several years. He is not a malicious player generally, and it would be wrong to say that he meant to injure Laplante. I believe he meant to stop him, but had no idea this would be the result. I know the player feels very remorseful for his actions, and rightfully so. He acted with respect afterward and understood how poor his judgment was on committing the foul. He is not known as a goon in the league, or amongst players, and should not be as a result of this injury, as this injury was the result of an uncharacteristically poor judgment by him.
I want to offer advice to all athletes; calm down! Sure it is a competition, and you want to win, but in the end, it is just a game! Sports leagues don’t need to be polluted by players who can’t control their anger issues. If a player continues to hurt other players, it is up to the league they are in to toss them. Nobody should have to worry about damaging their brain when they’re out trying to have some fun. Act responsibly, and think of the example you’re setting for the younger generations of athletes. If you have aggression issues; grow up or get out.
Best game in town
The night fell upon me,
far colder than usual.
My sweat become icicles on the run,
my breath turned into fog from my lips,
as I was left with the thought of you,
and the frostbite of distant love.
“Why can’t it work,
when we both try,
we try,
we try
oh how we try…”
You deserve better than this,
you deserve real touch,
real emotions and love,
not a flash of what could be.
“And I wish only greatness followed you around…”
but that’s not how life is…
The bad memories and ghosts,
follow you to the end of days,
while love and hope wallow,
in the forgotten tombs of overgrown cemeteries,
where nature played for keeps,
and won the pot.
We’re all left naked at the table;
half embarrassed and half satisfied,
we knew we’d lose but still had hope.
The hope hurts the most because it’s heavy,
the embarrassment fades like the eyes of a vacant lover,
shameless, uncompromising, and completely understandable.
You’re naked and strung out,
losing the game of life,
to the force that created it.
Remember that life is a rigged game,
but it’s the best game in town.
Maybe you could be the one
Maybe you could be the one,
to reignite the fire in my veins,
and turn my life into something extraordinary.
To make every morning bright,
and every thought filled with love,
that beats it’s chest with pride and caring.
Or maybe you could be the one,
to destroy my life and dreams,
and turn my ambitions into foggy memories.
You might take the complete me,
and hollow it out into a ghost man,
where hope pours into a drain of apathy.
Maybe you could be the one,
I love for the rest of my life,
and touch how only lovers can;
or that I leave in a few months,
in a furious exchange of curses.
Who knows?
Andy Veilleux 