Your eyes poison me,

They child me,

They eat me.

I am undone

And everything.

I stare at a wall,

My phone,

My soul,

To escape you.

I never do,

and it grows

As you haunt me.

It’s love and lust and

Brokenly beautiful.

It is all I want to know.

I am trapped in my body,

It is not a temple of good or divinity.

I am a ghost tied to my brain with steel

Wool,

That can never leave until the Sleep.

Untouched, unfelt and unhinged.

I roam within this white picket fence searching

For a way out, a way into you or

Some real life.

None comes,

Or you do,

At least.

Life is longest in the slow moments we

Piss down time’s drain

Only to beg for more.

I party to forget the pain,

And it haunts me through the highs,

So I work out to feel better,

But it grips me through the gains,

Until I work and read to move on,

Just to have it shadow me like a ghost.

You hurt them to make them

Go away,

Because you love them and

You’re terrified they will leave you,

Like everybody else.

The night holds us

As we dive into each other,

And nothing outside,

Is.

I die little deaths

in your arms and

Between your legs.

I drown for you,

I work myself to death and

I jump from such great heights.

You catch me and hold me

And save me

One night at a time,

as our hour glasses drip sand.

The night holds us,

Our bodies swim in

Each other,

And everything outside

is dying.

The world is dying,

and there’s nothing

brave about it.

Idiots fighting idiots

for idiots with capital

on their way to the Capital.

Monkeys on monkeys

on monkeys

all the

fucking

way down.

The wet pillow and sheets,

Freeze me

And I love it.

I work myself to the bone

For you,

on you,

in you.

I want to smell like you,

I want to be with you,

I want to become us.

My chest heaves –

Expanding lungs, falling/rising fast –

Trying to regain what I lost,

With no idea of what was gained

That will never leave.