Month: December 2013

memories and my circus

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

The days stopped melting when weeks became a blur and

there was something lucid about this long dream I

could not place my finger on,

or any other useful appendage.

 

My brain tried to wrap around it all,

warped,

and became a circle of infinity,

forever repeating a forgotten memory

so old it had become snowed out like so many

old VHS movies.

 

I could sit and stare at the screens for hours,

and the message or medium never changes.

 

My life as a circus show

minus a few bears riding unicycles,

and a strong woman.

An almost-real reunion

/ andyveilleux / 1 Comment

I saw you and I felt your face
Your curves
Your life,
Just in front of me.

You smiled at me,
A smile I had almost forgotten,
And the past melted.

I forgot the fights,
The hatred
And the ending,
Left only with the good times.

We said we were sorry and
We were playful, composed and in love.

You were never more you than these moments,
And then I woke up.

Heart in a castle

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

Light shines through the cracks in my glorified castle,
The place where I’ve built up defenses against love
In an attempt to keep my heart safe once more.

There is no describing the fortress we erect to save ourselves,
And the architecture is always flawed and impotent.

Love always finds a way.

It might not be good love or the mythical ‘true’ love,
But something always sneaks into my heart,
Whether it scales the walls or swims the most.

Love isn’t clean, or just or pure,
But nothing worth having is.

A starving fire

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

Fire was and is you,
But maybe less so now.

As if awkward sentences could ever
Capture anything about you,
The flame dances away from the cage
Or goes out when walled in.

You were a free spirit,
Dancing in too much oxygen
Until your appetite saw you too fed
And there was no stopping your newfound hunger.

Now you live as a pilot fire,
Carving out a meagre existence on scraps of air,
Waiting for the day you can be everything again.

Or maybe you had your chances and this is what you are now,
Tiny,
Struggling,
Afraid.

I would have ended you rather than see you so weak and powerless,
If only I would have known it would come to pass.