Month: September 2010

On being genuine, free, and responsible

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

It's not something that comes with age. It's not something that is relative to maturity. Being genuine is a moral thing.

That being said, there is a certain amount of responsibility in the way you live your life, whether you like it or not. Every decision has a consequence, and no decision you make can be blamed on anyone else.

People have a way of avoiding responsibility, and in doing so, making excuses for their lack of genuineness. "I didn't tell you about ___, because _______." "I didn't ask you to _____, because so-and-so said______." "It;s not my fault, it's your fault, because ______."

Stop it.

You are granted almost complete freedom in your life, you need to learn how to be responsible for that freedom. Sure, living in a society restrains certain freedoms. If you don't like the social constraints, leave your society. Back to reality:

You are free, therefore you must accept the responsibility of your life. Lying was not brought on by someone else. You chose to lie, you deal with the consequences. You choose to cheat on your partner, you wear the guilt of it. If you choose to hurt a loved one, You must carry the weight of that betrayal.

I've encountered many forms of this in the past month or so specifically. This has mainly been in cross-gender friendships I'm involved in, which should not come as a surprise, considering they can often be complex situations.

It can be as simple as a clever lie to parry a curious question I asked (which, evidently, was not so clever). It can be as big as inventing a reason to not hang out. It can be as complicated as mixing fact and fiction to describe a disagreeable recent-past event as "for the best," when in reality, that's not the way the person was truly feeling.

All of these are lies, and there is a serious problem when it comes to misdirection and dishonesty in our day-to-day interactions. Lies compound themselves, and begin breeding more lies. Lies also grow from small, controllable fact-fiction hybrids, into untamed beasts of deceit.

"So what's is your point, Andy?" Well, it's simple: We need to start treating one another better, and living our lives in a more honest and responsible way. We need to practice being open with our communication, and realizing the consequences that our actions have on the people around us.

I understand the counter-arguments. "Not everyone is going to do this." So what? It's better to live your life in a moral, and respectable manner, and your influence may spread beyond yourself and encourage this healthy way of living amongst your friends and family. "If I'm always honest, and the other person isn't, I'll just get hurt." If you're dealing with a snake like that, you're going to get hurt anyways. There's no reason to act like an abusive idiot, just because someone has abused you.

In conclusion, I hope to see more people behaving responsible. If you make a mistake, confess it to the people who are affected. Make amends with them. Error is a human trait, as is forgiveness. Practice both, and we'll all be happier for it.

Hidden monster

/ andyveilleux / 1 Comment

Sad, sad monster,

keep your head down,

turn back inside of,

yourself.

Sad, sad monster,

keep your voice down,

don't rise up too loud,

again.

You must hide,

and remain hidden,

they don't understand.

There's a big shock coming,

or a dosage of dull candies,

to make you right as rain,

It will destroy all that pain,

and make you normal again.

Trust in me,

my dear monster,

there's a flood coming,

it's pouring through the ceilings,

of all the skyscrapers,

penetrated by broken shards,

of dreams,

that tear apart,

the roof of your mouth,

and scrape your retinas,

grind your scalp,

gut your brain.

Only left,

numb.

Judgement Day, Laundry and Chocolate

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

I carried the basket full of dirty clothing out of my room. It was a short walk made slightly longer by the weight of a weeks’ worth of laundry. I was happy when I realized half of the laundry had not been worn by me.

Darks first, in cold/cold with a short spin cycle. I made my way upstairs to write statements for a client. I indulge myself by eating four miniature chocolate bars, which had probably been created to give people the illusion they can satisfy a sweet-tooth by eating only a few smaller portions. People are never satisfied.

The orange, plastic cup of cola was sweating on the table. Beads of moisture formed on the outside, creating a substance with more nutritional value than the dark, sweet liquid inside. The chocolate and cola combined to give a sugar high that would drop me in about five minutes tops.

It was time to write, or time for nothing. If you figure all the nothing eventually amount to something, you’ll be disappointed on Judgement Day. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, however, when the Tax-man comes.

It isn’t up to God or taxes to explain the significance of a human life. Life is used up when time runs out, no matter how you spend it.

A lost relation-friend-ship, from long ago

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

There was sex, sleep, conversation, and art. There was no love. We did not even love one another improperly.

The art was tired, and made in the spirit of fun. Art is only art when it is expressing an emotion. We expressed our humourous side, with a slice of our inner happiness.Happiness took its foot of the gas occasionally, and the remnants of past glittered with pain in the pupils of our eyes.

The sex was never tired, even when we were. The conversation never struggled, but never went much below the surface. Sleep didn't matter.

We existed this way for months, in between relationships, ex-lovers, and competing friendships. One day it broke, and we may have spoken a total of three sentences each since.

Even broken friendships are worth remembering. Some things that glitter lose their appeal too soon.There is an abyss of lost friendship, and conversations that should have happened. 

Sometimes we dance on the edge of both love and friendship. Sometimes we are too broken to dance.

The trap

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

Something broken,

nothing fixed,

there's a tear,

in everything.

 

Stagnant air lingers,

suffocating your mind;

you beg for something new.

 

The trap is sprung;

you are now the working dead;

deceased thoughts from a corpse,

are all that remain.

The house never wins anymore

/ andyveilleux / Leave a comment

I used to walk,

calmly,

on wires,

formed of the sharpest,

and strongest toxic metals;

brilliant.

I used to charge,

unprovoked,

through walls,

made of powdery,

bone-dry concrete;

unstoppable.

I used to stumble,

drunkenly,

through life,

weaved from broken,

and shattered dreams;

failing.

I used to be somebody,

you’d remember,

when the chips were down;

the house never wins anymore.

telltale love

/ andyveilleux / 1 Comment

 

A divine comedy dances,

on lines etched into flesh,

long ago by the crimson beauty.

 

A foggy mirror reflects,

beams of radiant moonlight,

through the evaporating tea and milk,

 we used to drown all of our problems.

 

There's no cycle here,

no spinning wheel to,

repeat the same story.

 

There's nothing to reinvent, 

no foundation for this to ride on,

and no carriage pulled by wild horses,

symbolic of our deepest desires and dreams,

now withering and dying in the cracks of love's floor.

 

No heart beats,

beneath floor-boards,

of cryptic, rotting elegance,

to alert the proper authorities.

 

Something is screaming,

deep within my soul however,

and I'm begging for an outlet;

It will die between these lines.

The resignation of Sun TV's Kory Teneycke means nothing

/ andyveilleux / 5 Comments

After a tumultous period as vice-president of development for Quebecor, Kory Teneycke has announced his resignation. You should be familiar with him for being the main face promoting Sun TV News AKA 'Fox News North'. I'm not going to go into the battle from Avaaz against Sun TV news, but I would like to take the time to go over what this resignation means, politically speaking.

In a nutshell, this resignation means little to nothing, despite Avaaz' exectuive director and co-founder Ricken Patel's claim that it meant "a battle won in a longer fight against crony-media in Canada." I disagree with this statement. As soon as Teneycke stepped down, Luc Lavoie was appointed to the position. Whereas Teneycke was a former Harper spokesman, Lavoie is the former spokesman of former Conservative Prime Minister Brian Mulroney spokesman. You say to-maht-o I say to-mate-o.

That being said, I do understand the significance of Teneycke being the former director of communications of the current Prime Minister. The political history was too recent for many people to feel comfortable with him heading up a news channel, which was applying for some special permits (such as the status of "must-carry" on cable channels, which means cable companies in Canada would have to carry the channel as part of their broadcasting). It is quite possible he was using some of his political power to lobby for this status, but is that really the important, bigger-picture question? No, it is not.

The important question is: How will this resignation affect the values of Sun TV News, and the Conservative view-point it is bringing? The simple answer is that it won't, which is evidenced by the hiring of Lavoie. At the end of the day, Sun TV News is still coming to Canada, and will likely be granted must-carry status, despite Avaaz' petition against it.

It is worth nothing the way that 'democracy' has been thrown around lately. Some people, such as Patel, claim biased news, such as Fox, or by induction, Sun TV News, "poisons American democracy." This claim is absurd. Democracy is best served by having a full-range of political opinion. While the opinion of the right is well-served in print media in this country, some would argue it is lacking in broadcast (some would argue differently, due to national stations like Global).

To be clear, I am not a fan of Fox News, or a person of right-wing political persuasion. In fact,  I despise Fox, and have done a lot of research into the network, and many of their failings. However, diversification of the Canadian media, and more capital being put into journalism, can only be a positive step for media in this country. In a time where news coverage is shrinking due to under-funding and cost-cutting, journalists and citizens of democracy should welcome new investment in media and new political viewpoints in the media.

The lost art of writing

/ andyveilleux / 3 Comments

Writing isn't what it used to be. Blogs have ruined it, some say. Others say my dumb-founded generation, and the generation preceding it ruined it before that. This is too big of an issue to tackle in a blog post, but I wanted to share two prime examples of exceptionally good writing, from the modern era (last thirty years or so). I won't ruin them by explaining why I think they're great piece of writing, so that's up for you to decide. Here they are:

 

"…off to the right of this typewriter, on the floor between the beds, I can see an 8×10 print of Frank Mankiewicz yelling into a telephone at the Democratic Convention in Miami; but that one will never be used, because the god-damn hound put five big claw-holes in the middle of Frank's chest."

– from Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72

 

"I shaved carefully with an old razor

the man who had once been young and

said to have genius; but

that's the tragedy of the leaves,

the dead ferns, the dead plants;
and I walked into a dark hall
where the landlady stood
execrating and final,
sending me to hell,
waving her fat, sweaty arms
and screaming
screaming for rent
because the world has failed us
both"

– from Charles Bukowski's The Tragedy of the Leaves