Your feeling washed over me,
a cold reminder of reality,
some poems were meant to fail,
from their beginning.
Your feeling washed over me,
a cold reminder of reality,
some poems were meant to fail,
from their beginning.
Late nights,
dirty thoughts;
cyclical sins.
a wheel of pain and pleasure,
crushing boredom and leaving,
aggressive sexual tendencies,
void of any inhibitions without,
the help of vodka on the rocks,
a lighthouse; lonely, desperate souls,
collide and wrap inside of each other.
Being attractive is usually seen as a positive thing in our material world. Most discussions involving hot employees and their jobs used to suggest the same. While I wouldn't suggest the prevailing trend has reversed, many have suggested the opposite may be true in some cases. Everyone recalls the Citibank employee who was 'fired for being too sexy.' I refuse to get into a lengthy conversation about it, as we definitely don't have all the facts, but it is an interesting case you should become familiar with.
Elizabeth Bromstein recently wrote a great blog on Workopolis about whether or not being hot could prevent you from being hired. The blog also discusses the idea of competition among same-sex employees, as well as a myriad of other interesting sexual statistics.
The most interesting profession in regards to sexuality has got to be that of a teacher/professor. EVERYBODY has had a teacher-figure that they were attracted to at some point in their education I'm sure. They were, or maybe are, often the topic of idle, or not so idle, chatter amongst your peers and yourself. High school teachers are a natural target for this sort of attraction, considering hormones and puberty. Beth Aviv recently wrote a great article for Salon Magazine concerning”hot young teachers.” The perspective is a fresh one, as it is told from the view of a not-so-young, and not-so-hot group of teachers, who are struggling to find jobs when stacked up against this new wave of female teachers.
I want to mention another struggle female employees are having due to their attractiveness; namely, attractive female professors. Dr. Ebony Utley wrote an article concerning the way some of her male students don't show her enough respect, and ask her out on dates even. I found this curious, but not altogether surprising. The most surprising part was how much this apparently shocked her, even though she talks about how important sex appeal is in an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education, which discusses attractive professors.
This issue doesn't just apply to female professors, as you'll notice from reading the Chronicle of Higher Education article linked above. Dr Gary A. Hoover actually moved 45 minutes away from the campus he teaches on, just so he would not run into any of his potential students and create an awkward, and potentially ethically-ambiguous situation.
The opinion on whether attractiveness is a burden or an asset is still on-going. Among professors, some just find it flat out hilarious either way (as referenced in the Chronicle of Higher Education article). One professor actually thought it was a joke when he heard he had been named to the famous Lemondrop list for hot male professors. There is a co-ed version of the list here.
What are your thoughts on attractiveness in the workplace? Does it hurt or help your career? Are professors and teachers in a unique situation with this dilemma?
A raging beast I've become,
crush that rock with my bare palm,
I emerge from a broken landscape,
promises of brighter future dance on,
my blood-soaked, salty, sweat-dripping lips;
too raw,
powerful,
for soft peers,
an outcast thrown out,
of he broken institutions,
of the white towers,
and all their failure.
I crawl,
powerfully,
not pathetically,
slow and steady,
an ascent against odds,
far past improbability,
balancing on the edge of possibility.
You should question where that places you,
fragile-sanity girls, and broken-ego ex-lovers,
and apathetic strangers who watch the tides turn,
while never being the reason.
Tides turn at the will of a tremendous beast,
of power unforeseen since ancient Asgardian myths,
Jotunn, who will not be stopped by the melt of glaciers,
super-nova sun, global warming, be damned for your impotence.
Some things will not end,
human,
some thing will not end,
despite your limited imagination,
highlighting all your ineptitudes and flaws,
culminating in an incredible parade of suck.
To err,
is indeed,
to be human.
You built your present,
on the graveyard of your past,
and didn't flinch.
I hope you enjoy the lonely path,
with the ghosts stuck to your ribs,
tearing at your empty heart.
The past can't hurt you anymore,
it's paid you back the favour,
you're abandoned,
left with emptiness,
a soul-death.
The only thing worse than a broken heart,
is an empty life in an absent world;
you call it home and walk your path,
alone.
Cold, clumsy gusts of air trip into my window,
occasionally brushing over my uncovered skin,
long fingers drained of blood; icicles of flesh,
a blue sky splits dark, troublesome clouds.
I remember a face,
I never saw,
bouncing around,
in my mind.
It bobs and weaves,
ducks and covers,
explodes into my mind's eye,
I can't shake the beautiful face,
of one of my loves,
who I've never met.
She stopped me in the light,
scrapped away insecurities,
and stood me back up on shaking feet;
an infant learning to walk on cold tiles,
desperate for feminine approval.
Georgia.
I talked for a few hours with a dear friend of mine last night. He's been having a bit of a rough go of things, and I wanted to discuss them with him. As one would imagine, the pain involves love.
I think many will find it interesting that guys do, in fact, talk about love, hurt, and painful emotions we are experiencing (note: you may close your mouths at any time ladies [and I bet most girls are surprised I made an open mouth joke that was not sexual by nature!]). While writing this post, I had the privilege of stumbling upon a post by my friends over at WTF is up with my lovelife?! that discussed how many guys are actually reading and following along with their site (which was intended for women). They discuss being surprised by the response from guys, who legitimately want to discuss their love lives, and ask for advice. Imagine that, guys seeking advice AND discussing romantic, mushy things?! Bizarro world, right? Wrong.
In fact, there are some guys that often discuss their romantic lives with one another, at least in my friends circle (and no, by "romantic" I don't mean sexual). I'd like to talk a bit about what I learned from my discussion with a friend going through a serious break-up. Read their post first, so you can understand the study they mention which discusses how guys tend to store up emotions, resulting in massive break-downs, and being more hurt than their female counter-parts when things go down the tubes. It will put this in proper context, I think.
There are no words you can say to a friend to make them feel better when they're suffering through the aftermath of love. When love is lost, a part of you is as well. Time is the only thing that will heal you, but time does not pass in moments like these. Instead of the age-old cliché that time heals all wounds, I would like to offer a modification. Experience heals all wounds, at least to a degree where life is livable again. Let's face it, that person you love, is never going to go away 100 per cent. They will always have a special ability to irritate, anger, and even delight you. It's weird, but it's true.
Time passing in and of itself, does nothing. If one sits in solitude and broods over their loss, one does not heal. The scar tissue will also become much greater. I tend to brood when I'm miserable, and it's not healthy. It's a lonely place, losing love, and you can feel very much alone for some time afterwards. The key is to make sure you're trying to experience life again. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Go spend time with people. Get out and talk to other people. Sure, you'll get a lot of the same responses: "I know it sucks, but you'll feel better soon," "To be honest, I didn't really like her," "You're better off without her," etc etc etc…. but it's better than nothing. Conversation lets you express what you're feeling (well, try your best to express that which can not truly be expressed – and trust me, we poets have been trying to express it forever, and failing).
It's interesting how friendship is. Last night my friend apologized for being 'selfish' by talking so much about the storm of badness that is currently his life. I laughed, and explained how it's funny the more modest/self-aware guy friends tend to feel like they are doing a disservice to a friend by a discussing their problems. If it were a disservice of friendship, then what is friendship for? (Note: this does not apply to THOSE friends who always have "issues," and always bring them up, who are actually annoying because they're so woe-is-me). Life is meant to be discusses, and shared, with your friends. Communication is great; it brings people together, and makes life that much more enjoyable as a result. Guys, don't be afraid to talk about your problems. It's unhealthy not to, and it will lead to some serious problems for you.
I watch you,
a stumbling shadow,
a ghost of greatness past,
but not long passed by.
Breathing is required,
thinking will return,
when the time is ready.
Code red;
danger,
massacre,
the blood-bath.
Breathe,
bloodbath,
breathe,
keep breathing,
focus the pain,
achieve balance,
through agile memories,
that dance through pain.
Life continues,
dead friend,
life continues,
pain does too.
Experience,
not time,
the great healer;
go live,
again,
dear friend.
Love demands it;
Once more unto the breach,
dear friend,
once more.