Leave it alone,

just let it die,

some attempts were meant to fail,

some mistakes were meant to look honest.

 

The perception isn't always far away,

from the reality,

but sometimes there's a world of difference.

 

I watched you change,

or maybe I watched my perception fall apart,

and you were revealed again.

 

This isn't about anger, sadness, or betrayal,

not about who feels what or when they feel it,

this is about truth and expression,

and as long as I breathe I'm going to record my life,

for everyone to learn from my mistakes and success.

 

What a breakdown from my poetic voice,

I wish I could justify it as freedom of choice,

but I can't,

it just happened, 

I kept writing while my poetic soul was napping,

and my rational being came out to play,

I fear he's gone away,

again,

just like a lot of the people in my life,

there's a build-up of personal strife,

dating back to the time I was young,

when memories would stay forever,

and now it's just the scars that last,

I don't think that's too far-flung,

or rather, far-fetched,

I know in your memory I'll remain etched,

because I threw you my life and dreams,

catch!

And you dropped them,

which was kind of ironic,

considering the way we used to throw around a baseball,

and we were so close,

until we left our ambitions, dreams and hopes fall,

so far away from one another.

 

We worked so hard to exclude each other,

We were both too egotistic,

Lex Luger style narcissistic,

Each other's worst habit,

that we refused to help kick,

out, and there was nothing more to talk,

about,

when our egos occupied the room,

white elephants,

and we'd have shouting matches,

on that old used-up mattress,

where I wasn't your first love,

and won't be your last,

and that's the past,

so it can't touch me now,

I lie to myself,

just like you did,

all those years,

and through all those tears,

when life broke down,

and all you need was to have me around,

but I left you there,

crying by yourself on the ground,

walked away as you fell apart,

like I had no heart,

but that wasn't true,

and that's the hardest part.

 

You had your hooks in my heart,

and you ripped it out as I walked away,

and that was my most difficult day,

or maybe most difficult year,

but who cares about that?

I look at you now and see ribs from the back,

so what's happening to you?

You're wasting away,

malnourished,

living off fake love,

and the young boys who think you're pretty,

and they're not wrong,

but they can't sing a tune to match your song,

but that's where reality kicks in,

you better notify his next of kin,

because you're going to destroy him,

like you tried to do to me,

but he won't handle it,

unless he's too unintelligent.

 

The part was never resisting your manipulation,

it was the fact that you'd try such extreme mutilation,

on the one that you loved,

and that's humanity,

and the soundest argument for the absence of the man above.

 

I wonder what runs through your head,

and if you're just the blackest of widows,

who still wants me dead.

 

Well guess what,

I survived you before,

and I'd do it again,

because in the end,

I'm back on my feet,

and I'm stronger than ever,

that's not just a line in a poem,

where I'm trying to pretend to be clever,